10 Reasons Why we Shouldn’t Compare ourself with others

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“Winners compare their achievements with their goals whereas losers compare their achievements with those of other people.” says Nido Qubein.

After reading this, I would conclude that almost the entire human race is a loser including you and me. Bet to disagree? Comparisons have become an integral part of our lives. We have actually grown up with them. This horrendous quality has been delved into our system right from a tender age. In school, your parents compare your scores with your friends’ or your sibling’s scores making you feel miserable. “Look at Mr. Sharma’s daughter, she topped the class”! “Lata has got a job offer in an American company.” At times, you must have felt like standing up and shouting like a lunatic telling them that you are not Lata or some XYZ. However, instead of raising our voices against this abhorrent nagging, we ourselves start comparing our lives with those of others.

At this juncture, damage commences. Comparison is the thief of our joy. Comparison sucks life out of us leading inevitably to our own destruction. This destruction is slow, but a painful one. I wonder why comparing ourselves with others is so important to us. I wonder why everyone has this notion in their heads about themselves and others in a pool of comparisons. Has insecurity gripped us all to this extent that we are unable to break free from the shackles and limitations that it places before us? A lot of brooding over this solemn issue makes me present

10 reasons why you should not compare your lives with others.

10. Belittle your self-esteem

belittle your self esteem

“I wish I had more friends just like Anish”. Comparing yourselves with others belittles your self-esteem and lends you an inferiority complex. You might feel you do not have something because you are a loser and someone else is better off than you. OK! I agree Anish has more friends than you but does that mean you will devalue yourself and your own friends for the sake of some unfamiliar person? You do not have what someone else has, but perhaps, you might be at a higher pedestal and in a better situation than him. Ever thought this way? I am sure not! You never know he might be thinking of leading a life like you with a few but true friends! Who can guarantee that he is happy? Can you? He might be sobbing when he is alone and still you crave for a life like him devaluing your own. Grow up and be mature enough not to bother your valuable brain with such petty issues.

 9.  Because nobody is perfect

because nobody is perfect

You know you can’t be good at everything because you are designed that way by the almighty. So, why over-burden yourself unnecessarily? Be free and enjoy your ‘imperfections’. Trust me, it’s more fun than being perfect. Embrace imperfection as an opportunity to learn and live a happier, fuller life rather than cribbing over not being good at something which somebody else has perfected. Don’t inflict yourself with others’ and your own unrealistic expectations. Liberate yourself.


8. Comparisons cause resentment

comparisons cause resentment

Have you ever lost a good friend due to the jealousy and resentment that you nurtured for him/her in your head because you wanted to be like him and failed at it miserably or have you felt sad when a friend tasted success in a particular thing and you did not? These are ambiguous cases of jealousy and resentment which lead our lives to a downward spiral eating away our nicely forged friendships and relationships. However, jealousy is not the culprit! Roots of jealousy lie in our habit of comparing ourselves with our friends. If we lead our own lives and let them live their own without intervening and comparing, relationships will last a lifetime and resentment will die its natural death. We make walls when we ought to make bridges digging a pit for our own selves.

 7. Divert us from our true passion in life

divert us from our true passion in life

Comparisons compel us to see our lives from the lens of another person. You might be good at writing but you want to pursue dancing because somebody else is doing it. We compare our weaknesses with others’ strengths and land ourselves in an abyss of trouble. We fail to understand our true calling in life because we are busy in working on somebody else’s dream. This is the worst kind of damage that comparisons do to our lives. Do you still want to compare?

6. Lead to Depression

lead to depression

You might have heard people saying that comparisons drive you towards your goal and provide boundless motivation and power. These tall claims do not stand true always! Comparisons actually do more harm than good. Constant self-comparisons to other people make it all true. A depressed mind sees everybody else right from friends, colleagues to teachers as ideal beings; while by comparison, you never come close enough. There is only one script hovering in our minds: They are always better, I am always worse. You push your own self into depression causing endless agony and pain.

 5. Make us insecure

make us insecure

It is falsely believed that comparison lets us feel safe and shows us we belong somewhere. Comparison lends us a spurious identity and distinction. We live in a utopian world of our own making where we get a false sense of security while comparing ourselves with others. However, the very fact that we feel the urge to compare highlights the sheer insecurity with which we lead our lives. No matter what problem befalls us, we won’t stop comparing. We never stop to question and ponder over the fact that what makes us agitated. You alone can solve this by changing your attitude and not being too harsh on yourself.

 4. Affect our happiness

affect our happiness

“I don’t want to be rich, I don’t want to be successful, and I simply want to be happy.” It is true that happiness is the most important component of our existence and we observe ourselves doing any and every thing in a desperate bid to seek the remotely accessible and distant feeling of happiness. Comparisons affect our happiness directly to a great degree. If one soldier gets promotion and the others do not the happiness level reduces to zero. However, on the other hand our happiness quotient increases when we see a person poorer than us.

3. Degrade our relationship with ourselves

degrade our relationship with ourselves

Living the dreams of somebody else, waiting to be capable of emulating what somebody else has and not being able to see what we ourselves possess within is a great drawback that comes along with constant comparison. We should evaluate our real reasons for doing something and do some amount of introspection to know what we actually desire and what we possess. Look at life from a diverse point of view and adapt yourself to the dynamic and largely transforming world. Only you have the authority to stabilize your relationship with yourself and make yourself happy.


2. Hold us back from moving forward in our own lives

hold us back from moving forward in our own lives

We strive to achieve something and work day and night for it. However, on the night of the competition we start believing that our competitor is better than us and we stand nowhere. We mess it all up and regret later! Studies reveal that our thinking affects our moods directly, be it anxiety, happiness or guilt. That is because the event is interpreted in the mind-so how you think about something affects how you feel about something and consequently how you perform.


1. Personality begins where comparisons end

personality begins where comparisons end

Comparisons rob you of your individuality. You start looking at the world through somebody else’s eyes. Consequently, you lose yourself. Not only this, you rob the world of your magnanimous persona. Needles to say, you are unique. There is no other like you. So, just be yourself. BE YOU.

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