Remember the episode of the sitcom F.R.I.E.N.D.S, “The One With The Dirty Girl” where Ross dates his own colleague who turns out to be a really filthy and untidy person? If you do, then this list would surely ring a bell. Cleanliness is next to godliness. Every one of us is long acquainted with this adage that has been imbibed within our very souls so as to be or at least appear to be a spruce. But have you ever given it a thought that what if you turn your room into your very own prototype of a junkyard that is sure to send your mother into a long segue of hysterical outbreaks? This surely doesn’t seem like a very intriguing and beguiling idea for the very reason that we have been taught to seat ourselves in the best of mannerisms. But why not give in to a momentary lapse and fantasies about this not-so-prolific and a very incongruous thought. Named below are 10 things that will give your olfactory and perceptive senses a good workout if put in your room.
10. Old as well as new clothes
It’s a natural process that we experience growth and the very same process causes us to exclaim that our clothes have shrunk. The very dissonance between this very natural process and the textile industry can surely give your room a makeover. Just bring in a pile of old clothes or even worn, dirty clothes and barrage them around in your room and feel like a dirt rookie. And not only this. I found out, after conducting a personal experiment, that clothes rot and smell. They actually do. So after you are done with kicking off your clothes around in your room, do remember to sprinkle a little water and enjoy the aroma.
It’s an old saying that shoes reflect the selfhood of a person. Sure it does if worn on feet. But what if shoes are thrown around in a room? Our shoes experience a hell lot of transition in terms of the terrains they go through. Mud, dust, sludge, dung and what not! Shoes of a man can seriously mar a person’s strongest of alibis. And thus shoes, especially the dirty ones are an excellent way to cause your mum to pop up some tranquilisers. Just remember to take off the foot mat the next time you want to see all hell break loose.
08. Newspapers and magazines
It is a part of the daily routine of almost every person to go through the newspaper and that too, the first thing in the morning. But at times the most organised and seemingly civilised thing can become the most ruthless cause for havoc in your peaceful adobe. Loose sheets flying around in your room, magazine covers getting stomped under your feet, crumpled paper balls lying all over the floor; this is a sight that no one would delightfully devour. It’s a common scene in my house and by the end of the day no two sheets can be put together to form a wholesome newspaper.
07. Art and Craft Material
Who doesn’t like being a little artsy and crafty at times? Origami, paper mache, Do-It-Yourselves craft books and some similar items surely spoil our rooms at times. I remember the times when we were given holiday home works and were asked to create all sorts of charts and illustrative science models. That was seriously a sight and both my parents would spend hours cleaning up the mess. So the next time you feel like messing up your room, just bring out the creationist in you and see your room turn into a paradigm of mess.
06. Boxes and Cartons
Old boxes and cartons come in handy every now and then. Packaging books, packing your old clothes, useless stuff; these boxes are no less than Pandora ’s Box. Just a few of these cardboard boxes and some other gift or shoe boxes and your room would look like a store room or even worse. And these arks make the classy sound when you trample them. And believe me, a stack of these boxes in your room and Zeus wouldn’t himself be able to save you from your mother’s wrath.
05. Lego blocks
We all have played with these cute looking construction toys during our childhood and these building blocks still fascinate many of us. But what if you throw a handful of these cute toys around in your room? These seemingly innocent toys can bring out the hidden inferno in your room. Bruised feet, slipping steps; these are some of the value added services that com along with these toys. And these are so midget-small that at times you don’t even bother to pick them up. Point of saturation. Choking hazard. True!
04. Polyethene bags
These contrivances of daily use border on the legendary when it comes to messing things in your room or anywhere whatsoever. These vintage carriers seriously smell of mess. The very stench of these not-so-environment-friendly bags is annoying. And not just this, polybags are sort of inheritors. They smell of what they had inside of them. And you would agree with me, the smell is a very strong one. Bring some of these, splatter them all over your and watch the repertoire of your mum’s crescendo rise from sweet to melancholic. Go, see for yourself!
03. CDs, DVDs and audio cassettes
Music has seen a whole lot of change, evolution in its most fundamental form. From the classic vinyl records to the nostalgic audio cassettes to the now endangered CDs and DVDs. Music or rather most forms of media have now become digital. But I still remember the times when I used to fiddle through the huge stack of my personal collection of cassettes and CDs. And the process that followed the fiddling was much more tedious and prosy. A neuron-killer. CDs crushing underneath my feet, magnetic tapes tangled and lying all over the place, the whole scenario was irksome. And these devices of entertainment still hold the same position when it comes to creating a mess. This is, ladies and gentlemen, cadence at its most pernicious.
02. Engineered stuff
I remember an episode from F.R.I.E.N.D.S where Joey tries to build an entertainment unit but later decides to take it to the “next level”. Every now and then, everyone gets those heaven-inspired fits of Thomas Alva Edison. Screw drivers, pliers, wire cutters and spanners thrown around in the most apparent-mechanic manner add to the greasy scenario. Contorted wire forms, broken plastic bodies, rolling nuts and bolts, the fresh smell of grease; this picture can, by leaps and bounds, fail the most wrecked of all warehouses. In my case, everything that I somehow managed to open up turned into an exemplary instance of a failed mechanical post-mortem and this was what my parents hated the most. Even today, I am not allowed to showcase my engineering skills for the very fear of filthiness. Go, get in your overhaul and see for yourself your very own personalised version of a room-y panzer come to life.
Nothing beats this entry. And that is why I saved it for the last. The most organic, the smelliest, the most insect attracting, the most bio-degradable of all the items that I have mentioned till now. Food is what food does. Once I left a few banana peels and some apple skins in my own hostel room and for the next three or four days, my peace was plagued by a very strong, pestering odour and an unfathomable number of flies and mosquitoes. Even the most pleasant smelling, the most sumptuous of dishes can turn into the most galling, the most abrading of emanations. The entire place begins to stink like miniature sludge container. This has to be the ultimate mess-creating item. Hands down! The item capable of truly devaluing your room, FOOD!