It’s a Friday night, you’ve had a long week at work and you need the weekend to cut you some slack. Perfect, your friend’s asked you to hitch along to another friend’s party. The host is a stranger but it won’t hurt since you figure you’ve been totally an anti-social workaholic lately.
Anyway, you tag along in a cute dress (if you’re a girl but no judgment if that isn’t the case either) and you’re ready to kick it up! Except you’ve lost your friend in a sea of unfamiliar faces and you’re left alone in a corner of the room. If you’re ready to kick up your Friday night to the max and bid adieu to your boredom, faithfully follow these next 10 pointers and find yourself transported to a gala:
10) Strike up conversations with people in a British accent:
Come on, you know you’ve always wanted to fool people into thinking you’re British and all the suave generalizations that accompany being British.
What better time to put your mimicry skills to a test than do it with random people you’ll probably never run into again?
We’ve always wanted to step out of the mould people set for us. Break out of those expectations, the mindset of your life and step into the fantasy world.
You’d be fascinated at how exciting it is to escape who you are for a few moments.
No more being the Software engineer working part-time at McDonalds, you’re a British citizen that’s exploring the city for the first time and need sound advice from a local on what to do and where to go (If you’re talking to someone that’s cute that you could be interested in, they might offer to take you out! Score! British accents help pick up people!)
9) Walk up to people you don’t know and ask them how they are
And act offended when they look puzzled and say “I’m sorry, I’m totally blanking, who are you?” and then you make up this bizarre story about how you bumped into them when you both were grocery shopping a year ago at that supermarket whose name you really can’t remember (hopefully this is when they jump in and say the name of the place they shop at often) and you say emphatically, “That’s the one!”.
People at parties definitely favor people they think they’ve met before and voila, you have a new friend. Be ready to conquer the world, or er, the party anyway for now.
8) Break out into the macarena
Because everybody else recognizes macarena as the universal 90s song, if they’re sporting enough, you’ll have a flash mob in the middle of a party of people you don’t even know. Hoorah for your social skills!
7) Break out the alcohol
You know how every hopping party has that one guy by the table with the drinks that’s suspiciously mixing them together but makes amazingly dangerous drinks (they’re only amazing at the time. The dangerousness filters in after a while)?
That person usually gets the credit for being the one to get the show going. Since people don’t know who you are, grab a few drinks and pass them onto unsuspecting people and then stand on a table, call for attention and make a relatable toast.
For example: “This is to everybody that’s ever been dumped. Or fired. Or cheated on.” Bonding over mutual miseries is one surefire way to get people to loosen up and get friendly with you before they pass out.
6) Talk to Siri
If you genuinely do not like the human beings co-existing with you in that room and you have an iPhone, remember you’ll always have a buddy 24×7. I mean, who knows you like Siri does?
Can your real human friends tell you the nearest Italian restaurant or run you favors like speed dialing your mother on your phone without a bribe or intensive coaxing? Yeah, didn’t think so.
5) Hijack the DJ booth
Unless there’s a real DJ and you get ousted from the party, jamming to your favorite tunes amplified at a party isn’t a total dealbreaker for a Friday night. Keep in mind that if people hate what you’re playing, you will get shot dirty looks. They don’t know who you are, but they will find you and they will kill you.
4) Live by the food table
The foolproof way to survive boring Indian weddings: spend all your time at the food table. Food never lets you down. Any reasonable party host has at least chips and dip for their guests. Watch out for it before its gone.
3) Take selfies with strangers and make it an artsy collage someday
It’s a selfie obsessed generation and to up your selfie game and make it unconventional and interesting, approach random people and take selfies. Unless they’re insecure or completely unsporting, they’re likely to cheer on your zest and spirit. Making this a collage will make this party a memorable one in the future.
2) Conduct a social experiment by crying in a corner
Make a mental note of how many people approach you and ask what’s wrong. You could be on your way to a breakthrough in proving how people nowadays lack empathy.
1) Get on Omegle
And when somebody on Omegle asks if they can strip for you, point the camera to the other dozens of people in the room and say “You’ve gotta do it for them too”