Congratulation! We see you have found the one and have settled down and are most certainly looking for Do’s and Don’ts. Then you have ended up in the right place. Listed below are 10 sweet advices you’d need if you have finished parking your new car with a ‘just married’ plate in your garage. If you get these 10 things right on priority basis not only it will not just ensure that your marital gears run smooth and steady but also that you go step in this drastic change together and make the happiness a permanent feature of your relationship
10) Write down customary ‘thank you’ notes
We know you have finally settled down and that epic fairy tale wedding ceremony you had have left you with a hangover that may as well take a month to get out off. But amidst all this make it a point that you do not forget to thank all those people who made it plausible. Send back a customary thank you note to those who attended and came together to add manifold warmth to your special day. You could send a normal greeting or if you have more cards to write than it’s humanly possible also because you are pre-occupied with you honey-moon plans then worry not the wedding-market probably thought of it long back. Hire a few professionals to do it for you while you may move on to strike the next thing off your post-wedding to-do list.
9) Get your finances right
Now that you have married you will be seen more of as a couple rather than an individual. Although some couples settle down for individual financial areas but the prevalent typecast is to merge it all. So consult your financial advisor right away. Get those mortgages, lease and installments under control and if you have bought a new home or plan to make some hefty investment post-marriage then it’d be better to take professional advice. Also never keep your money matter under wrap because you think you might be able to handle it on your own rather make your partner a part of it because you don’t want your new relation to take a bitter tumble down the road of financial woos.
8) Divide responsibilities
Alright so before you two married, you lived with your roommates while, she with hers and sometimes when she was in a good mood and your room was in a bad one. She’d do you a little favor and cleanup for you and if it was truly your lucky day then you’d end up having a decent meal. But now that you are together it’d be a blunder on your side to presume that’ll she do it every day because apparently that’s her marital duty. If you still think in that sexist way then better invest in a nice couch for you might end up using it every other day. She is your wife and not your housekeeper so divide the duties. Even, assuming that you both work, marriage will only mean that the girl’s work has doubled up.
7) Have the ‘me’ time too
No dictionary enlists the ‘loss of individuality’ as a synonym to ‘marriage’. So we see no reason why it has to be that way. Even though your life has undergone a drastic change and no it’s not just restricted to the change of your status as a bachelor to that of a married person but that certainly doesn’t mean that you have to pay for being married in terms of your individuality. Make your space and have your ‘me’ time. You can’t be with a person 24 hrs, because that’s just plain crazy. Take an hour or two every alternate day to retreat to yourself and indulge in activities that you like. Your individualistic happiness is a prerequisite for a happy relationship especially in a marriage.
6) Familial responsibilities
At first you had your own family and set of relatives, within a week things have changed so much and even the number of relatives have doubled up. Don’t crib or act crabby about it. Think of it underneath an optimistic light. Don’t keep your familial responsibilities paramount that’ll certainly cause irreparable friction between you two. Better keep it on the same pedestal. Take equal time for both families, don’t be biased. You could try bringing the two families together occasionally on context of dinner or family outings. But seriously, discriminating between the two families is just you readying yourself and your marriage to jump on a blade.
It’s not that complicated with families because they do not face each other all that often but for friends it’s a completely different scenario. She has her own set of friends a few of which you may not like or he may have a friend in particular that you are not really fond of. Don’t let it grind the gears of your own marriage cycle. Settle all the scores before you tie the knot and take your solemn nuptial vows. Try to gel in but if that doesn’t work put in a little effort not to have these friends over that often and thus, making it uncomfortable for your spouse.
Prior to marriage things were different. A slip of tongue or some foolhardiness even mistakes committed in an inebriated manner were forgivable when you were just an immature bachelor or weren’t planning in the long term. But, now you are lawfully married and owned try to respect that fact and no that harmless flirtations are not acceptable either. Try to tame the Casanova in you and be honest with your partner. Now that doesn’t mean bring up all the crazy exes onto your bed the very first night, which is sure to get you the separation paper next morning. But make sure that none of your past ghosts loom large over your happy married life.
3) Till death do us part
I take you to be my lawfully wedded(husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. Dammit! You left your towel on the bed I have had enough of you. Now see I am just trying to prove a point when you have taken such solemn vows wouldn’t it be wise to act according to them? Be forgiving, be compromising don’t threaten to end everything at the drop of a hat. You are not a churlish couple any more. Things have changed and you are married, so walking out whenever something doesn’t happen according to your wish is not an option. Make it work till death do you two part.
2) Drop immaturity
There is a fine line between acting adorably kiddish and acting immature. Try to comprehend where the two meet and make an effort not to ever blur the line of difference between the two. A few years from now you will start a family together and it’s not even a wee bit nice to be acting like children (read imbecile and petulant kids). So drop the immaturity but let the kid in your heart live. Use it when things can’t be solved the adult way but nope that immaturity is not taking you anywhere but just a very socially awkward marriage.
1) Be welcoming
If I knew what a terrible cook were you before I married you things would have been different. Are you serious? Marriage is not about confetti, violinist perched on your bedpost or walking down the aisle filled with roses everyday though if you wanted it that way then you should have probably asked the Disney guys to make you a CGI character instead because in real life things are going to be different. There will be compromises, sacrifices and for the sake of a happily –ever –after you should learn how to cope up with them instead of whining about it like a 6 year old. It is ‘marriage’ what were you expecting? A trip to Disneyland!