Sulking for long hours, silent treatments by your partner, the irrational mood swings, the “poor me” behavior and throwing adult tantrums are completely natural responses which are often confused with immaturity. Especially when it comes to girls – your girlfriends are naturally susceptible to sulking, not because they are immature or attention seekers but because they love you and expect from you. However, sulking for days and sulking for small baseless reasons are not the right signs and often tend to take your relationship towards a disappointing breakup. What assumes prime importance when your girlfriend sulks is that you understand her side, be in her shoes, tell her if she’s wrong and cheer her up if she is upset. Tolerance and flexibility is what makes a pair compatible, however if your girlfriend always throws those tantrums, just to make you realize you were the one who was wrong yet again, then I guess it’s time you re-analyze your relationship. But in most cases, sulking is short lived and there are ways you can deal with it to rekindle your love life and bring back the lovely times in your relation. If you are that kind of a boyfriend who is genuinely caring, if you hate your girlfriend’s upset face, if you miss her wide range of expressions, if you hate her silence and want your chattering girl back, if you want to turn her pouts into a smile and wish to avoid an unnecessary breakup, then below is the list you need to follow, to deal with your sulking partner:
10. Choose right – Ignore or Confront!
The art lies in using your acumen to choose the right time for discussing the matter with your beloved. Sometimes, all that is required is to let things go and you need to give her time to recover. But, you also need to make sure that she does not feel neglected and unloved during the time you opt to ignore the argument. You must wait for the right time when she is ready to listen and you must never leave her when she needs you, whether you two are talking or not, for women are emotional creatures. Remember, at times, you just need to stay silent, because anything you may speak may provoke another argument.
9. Don’t assume her words to be straight from her heart, remember she’s angry!
It is often seen between partners that the words they utter while sulking and out of anger, no matter how worthless they are, take the argument to another level. One common mistake guys commit, is that, they take their girlfriends’ complaints to be straight out from their heart. However, it is not so in most cases. Women are prone to make the matter dramatic and huge by saying things they actually don’t mean. So next time your girlfriend is sulking and she says she has stopped caring about things or that she will move on, remember she is only angry and wants you to show more love to her.
8. Do little things she loves:
When angry, girls won’t want their guys to get them expensive gifts or take them to holidays. But they would certainly appreciate small efforts from their partners like cooking dinner for them, getting them their favorite movie or perhaps just staying at home without mentioning a reason. If you want the girl you endear to get back to normal and wear that beautiful smile again, just do the little things she adores. So go look at her intently, pay her a surprise visit, kiss her hand, hold her till she melts, give her a sorry card, praise her smile, get her eyes locked with yours or simply tell her how special you feel about her.
7. Travel down the memory lane with her:
You might be fighting or sulking now, but I know one thing for sure – you two have cherished moments of a lifetime together. From those early quick peeks into each other’s eyes to the recent love sessions you shared, re-travel all those moments along with her and you two will realize how petty your argument seems to be, in comparison to the immense love that resides in your hearts. A video, a collage, an audio documentary or an album may serve as the right testimony for your memories.
6. Tell her where you find her wrong, Don’t let her control every time:
You cannot give in to her tantrums every time and cannot let her have the pleasure of being the winner every time. As a genuinely caring partner, tell her when and where she went wrong according to you. Tell her all that is not acceptable to you or hurts you. Unless you share, she might not realize where she is wrong and might also repeat the same mistake again. Communication is the key to a successful relationship. Don’t give her absolute controls but steer your relationship to success. Also, don’t blame her for every other fight you have, because even you cannot be right every time.
5. Find the right cause and look at things from her perspective:
A wise old saying states that most of the times we are not fighting for the cause we think we are. For example, she might not think you are having an affair but she would still sulk if she thinks your neighbor is more attractive than her. You need to find the real cause behind her sulking and also, you need to get into her shoes to understand her insecurities, perspectives and visions. As I said earlier, she might not be wrong, but her perspectives may be different than yours. It would all depend on her upbringing, the good and bad experiences she has had in her life and the extent of love that she has received over the years.
4. Appreciate her and let her realize on her own:
Love your girl the way she is, for that is how she caught your eye and heart in the earlier days when your love for her began to sprout. Don’t think she’s dumb or irrational, but appreciate her ways of looking at things and understanding them. Believe in her, and impart her time to understand your side of the story. Understanding and compatibility has led your relationship this far and this time too, she would gradually understand if circumstances or she, herself went wrong.
3. Never get back to past fights and arguments:
Bringing in past arguments to the present scene can be highly destructive. Sentences like “You did the same last time too”, “If you could do that in past, why can’t I do it now?”, “You have always treated me this way” not only spoil your love life but also take away that credibility factor from it. Remember, you could overlook your past arguments because you two loved each other a lot and they had little significance compared to your love. Bringing the saga back makes no sense as those arguments have already been solved. All they would do is complicate your present argument, so mentioning past mistakes and blunders is a strict “NO”.
2. The three words “I love you” are truly magical:
Yes, the words “I LOVE YOU” are magical indeed. And from your lips, they are surely meant to melt your partner, how so ever angry she is. And even if she doesn’t pay heed to these words for the first few times, saying them over and over again will surely bring that “Damn you won me again!” look on her face. If she’s not ready to listen, then sending over a voice message, leaving an “I love you” note on her desk or singing her a love song will surely work. So what are you waiting for, tell her what you feel and keep telling her that until she reverts back.
1. If she’s worthy, never quit!!
So, Are you sure you see her as your soul mate? If that is the case, you cannot be a loser by letting her go. Just think it this way – If she is “your” girl, she got to be the most special one. Everything about her is special. Even her tantrums. And what’s wrong, if they are worth it? Go give her a hug, and tell her you would never be leaving. If you love her to the core, it will not take her time to realize that sulking is not an option when she can utilize the same time in loving you back. Let her know how lucky she is, and you can expect her to love you back with all she has, and forget about those insignificant fights.