Do you remember the first time when it happened? You looked into each other’s eyes. You did not mean to stare but it automatically happened. You didn’t want to make it obvious but could not help stealing another glance. Well this is something which happens with almost everyone. You have been through it and so have I. But the question that arrives is this love? Falling head over heels for someone makes you think that it surely is love. Well if it is so then its high time you quit fooling around with yourself and face reality. The most common mistake which people make is getting confused between love and infatuation.
As soon as you are attracted to someone you end up saying “I think I am falling in love”. Do you really know what love is? Well whatever it might be but it’s not the same as infatuation. They both are intense emotions that one feels for another but they differ in actuality of love, intensity and final outcome. Love can be described as a feeling of intense affection towards another person. Whereas infatuation is simply being carried away by passion. Anyway not making things all the more perplexed let’s sum you up with ten differences between love and infactuation that will help you make your decision.
10. HANDLING CONFLICTS
Conflicts are like a part of relationships. There come times when you disagree on a certain point which leads to endless arguments. Well getting into conflict is normal but knowing how to handle them is not an easy task. When in love conflicts do occur but you love your partner so much that he/she is more important than simply winning over the argument. Even if it is an endless argument you will end up patching up. If an argument is making you feel negative about the other person, you don’t seem to end up fighting over the smallest of issues, your views about the other person change with time then surely isn’t love. This does not mean that love does not involve conflicts, it surely does but love is above all feelings. Ego clashes do not affect your relationship unlike infatuation
Well another interesting fact that distinguishes love from infatuation is singularity. When you are totally in love with someone that is the only person you want to be with. You have all your future plans and everything with him/her. You dream of spending your life with the each other. Whereas infatuation being just a crush may go on shifting from one person to another. Today you like someone and the other day you might feel the same way for someone else. Your feelings easily swing from one to another. So be careful in case you are with someone but still have an eye on the others then it’s not love.
It is very well said that love is all about compromise. When in love people act supportive towards each other. They care for each other. It’s about both of the people Infatuation is just about liking someone from the outside view. It involves selfishness. Fulfilling your own wishes is what it is about. You might try helping out just to impress the other person but genuinely you have no such intention. You don’t have any supportive feelings. All you want is to impress that person and show your intellectual.
7. ACCEPTANCE WITH FLAWS
When in love with someone, you accept that person wholly. You would love with all your heart ignoring or learning to live with the flaws of the other person. You respect each other’s nature. You give free space to that person to be themselves. Whereas when it comes to infatuation you have a perfect image in your mind of your crush. You want them to be just as much the image. Even a single flaw in that person may drift you away from him/her. So falling in love makes you love your partner in all terms. Therefore do not get confused with infatuation.
Distance is a test of love. Long distance relationships are a rare success. There might come a time when you have to depart from your loved one for a temporary period of time. Well, it is at this time when you can test whether your feelings are that of infatuation or of love. Love is patient enough. It does not fade away with distance. Even while staying apart your feelings will stay the same. This temporary period of distance will also blossom your love. If the distance creates problems for you and you feel that your relationship is somewhere coming to an end then it definitely is not love.
5. FEELING FREE
Once you are in love you feel amazing. You feel on top of the world. All you want to is to spend time with your partner irrespective of your busy schedule. In love you remain the same person as you are. You do not bring changes to yourself. Feeling comfortable is an important point. You should feel free to behave as you are. When in love you do not shy away from your partner. Whereas infatuation is a strong feeling of passion. It makes you feel conscious in front of the other person. You can’t be yourself. You try to fake yourself just so as to portray a good impression.
Love works upon the principle of trust. When you love someone you automatically trust them. Security is not much of an issue in love. You feel safe and secure in the arms of your love one. You know you are meant to be. On the other hand infatuation leads to insecurity and may attempt to control the other through jealousy. This does not mean that love does not involve jealousy but it is less frequent and severe. Jealousy signifies possessiveness. It is an outburst of emotions. True love does not act that way.
There needs to be a spark between two people for them to fall in love. Apart from chemistry you should also notice your similarities. For falling in love compatibility is a strong point. You may have strong feelings for someone you just met but love takes a long way to happen. It is not instant. Love does need chemistry but it looks at other factors too like character, personality. You notice your views upon issues like religion, family, money and friends as well as background. The more things you have in common the more chances there are of falling in love. The entire sudden chemistry story might end up in just infatuation because love takes time.
2. PHYSICAL ATTRACTION
You look at someone and find him/her attractive. You feel like staring at that person because you are mesmerized by their good looks. Well this is so not love because love does not start with good looks. It will make you notice the other qualities of a person. There is nothing called” love at first sight”. Only infatuation takes place simultaneously. Love grows with time. Gradually after knowing each other people fall in love. Falling in love is not instant. Whereas infatuation takes place all of a sudden and fades away with time.
Obsession is perhaps the same as infatuation. You seem to be obsessed with the other person and don’t want to let go. You want to spend all of your time with the other person limiting your own social circle. You fear a lot with things. You even fear losing the other person. It’s all about thoughts fitting in and out of your mind. Whereas, love is from the heart evoking smiles and warmth. It’s from the heart. It’s about knowing you heart is for the other and you love is returned. It is a shared thing.