Unconventional. Untraditional. Unorthodox. Those are the words that come to mind when you first ponder the decision of a live-in relationship. What will society think? What will your parents say?
Yes, it is indeed a huge step getting into something as involved as a live-in relationship without promise of a concrete future. You’re banking on temporary experience giving you an indicator to what you want from the future but how do you know this won’t be a total nightmare?
Society aside, conventions aside, what do you want? At the end of the day, doing what’s most suitable for your relationship is highly recommended.
That being said, let’s highlight some of the advantages of a live-in relationship over marriage:
#10: You’re testing the waters before you can fully commit
While marriage is more jumping the gun and telling somebody that you will, regardless of the circumstances spend the rest of your life with them (yeah I know, scary).
However, society has drilled it into our heads to embrace a married life as a fresh start, which is why living with your partner before would essentially be considered “stale”.
What’s wrong with sampling the buffet, seeing what you are and aren’t capable of eating and then planning accordingly the main course? If anything, that only prepares you for the real thing.
Similarly, living with a partner gets you thinking about whether or not a future with them is really possible.
#9: It could serve as a stepping stone to a marriage in the future
If step #10 proves to be a success and the answer is yes, you can conceive a possible future with them, bravo!
Step 9 now serves as a practice field; where you observe your partner’s habits at home.
The time they watch TV, how often they take the trash out, how seriously they take maintenance work and how much time they spend with you as home are indicators of what they like and don’t like and how you each can fill in for each others’ chores.
If you both coordinate your schedules as per both your convenience, there is nothing better than to start a concrete relationship in the future on a note of surety and confidence in the other.
#8: No label, no commitment
A couple that like each other that are living together are less prone to fights from the logic point of view that are are less susceptible to pressure that married couples receive.
If living together isn’t working out, a simple goodbye will suffice while married couples definitely have it harder. A divorce process, unhappy families and broken dreams for a future will only cradle hostile thoughts about commitment ever again.
By living together, a couple is being habituated to the other person because it’s a bigger step than people give it credit for being.
#7: The fun!
The excitement of living with your partner is the forbidden fruit recipe for thrill: you realize people don’t necessarily approve, which makes it a whole lot more adventurous.
The fun of functioning as a unit and no longer having to sneak out to meet them is a whole new phase of your life. Once you’re done with work, you watch movies together, talk to each other about life and become best friends in the process.
#6: The convenience
If you’re getting tired of tumbling out of your partner’s bed at 6am, putting on your clothes and rushing back home before your parents or whoever you live with asks any questions, you realize how it makes more sense living with somebody you spend more than half your day with anyway.
You also don’t require two sets of toothbrushes, deodorants, bathroom slippers and underwear in each house. Your stuff and the person you love spending time with all under one roof; what more could you ask for?
#5: You become an integral part of each other’s lives
Living together, you become best friends and close family like a tightly-knit unit.
You are now a significant part of their routine, you meet their friends, go out with them more often. You’ve given this relationship a boost of your confidence and trust by moving in together, if anything.
You now become that couple that people refers to as one person. When one of you is missing, the other will certainly be prepared to answer a dozen questions about where you are.
#4: You don’t conform to pressures regular couples have
You’re not a regular couple that complains about not spending enough time with each other or about where this is going. Neither are you a married couple where you worry about kids, saving up for the future.
Instead, you are in between those two extremes and have less pressure. You spend most of your time together and have become two peas in a pod and you’re financially independent, without having to worry about future consequences of your fights that blow out of proportion.
#3: No trauma if you have to break-up
Sure you got close enough to them, so it’s going to hurt. But it’s a hassle-free relationship that does not require your parents to be involved in how it’s coming along so you will not be breaking up with an entire family, but just with the other person.
No divorce papers, prenup agreements, frozen assets or children will have to be dealt with. You split up and you go separate ways, that’s the only thing.
#2: The space is ideal
You learn to respect each other’s space because you’re not too far away from there where you’re insecure about what they’re doing and where they . Neither are you always harping on or nagging them because you learn the important value of freedom in a relationship.
#1: You learn compromise
Whether this is you fighting over who’s turn it is to do the dishes or who needs to call the plumber this time, you learn a bigger, more valuable lesson: compromise. One that your relationship is built on and supports itself using.
You learn to step down because you’re fond of your partner and you find that they do the same.