Matches might be made in heaven but one needs to slog it out on Earth if they want their marriage to bloom. In the age we are living in, most marriages land in troubled waters because of innumerable reasons which could range from the romance petering out, change in the outlook of the person, some transformation in personality to even financial stress. Marital distress could cause a person to become snappy, irritable, and can also lead to severe psychological problems. It has a powerful impact on the partners leading to an adverse impact on their physical health. Marital ups and downs don’t sound easy but they can be easily and effectively tackled with the right dose of sensibility and maturity. One should always be careful in difficult situations because once manhandled, a marriage will come cascading down, ultimately dissolving into nothingness. Here are some troublesome problems which most married couples go through.
Quite a few people are unwilling to have children during the first few years of their marriage. This can be one of the causes that could lead to discord in a healthy relationship. Some women hesitate while taking this decision because it almost always causes their career to halt, and some men might be a little uncomfortable with idea of dealing with dirtied nappies and sleepless nights so soon. Bearing children can be a turning point in any couple’s life. Even difference in parenting values can lead to confrontation. It could happen that a person is more inclined towards liberal upbringing while the partner is a tad conservative. Such differences often lead to disagreements and hence cause marital problems quite often.
9. Division of Labor
Chopped some onions and left the peels for your wife to clean? Spilled soft-drink on the floor and expect her to wipe it off? Well, it’s not always the woman’s job. Same goes for the females out there. Division of labor is extremely important when two people are living together, even more when they tend to be immensely lazy. Daily chores like cleaning up the table after dinner, dusting every nook and corner of the house, paying the bills, feeding the pet should be taken care of in a very organized manner. If this is not done, either one partner ends up doing all the chores or nothing gets done at all! It’s a lose-lose scenario.
If one of the partners isn’t working, they depend on their spouse for financial aid. The partner should be generous and willing to spend enough to fulfill their spouse’s needs otherwise dissatisfaction and a feeling if bitterness prevails. No one wants to beg or fawn for money and this should definitely be taken into consideration by the couple. Also, the non-earning counterpart should also be considerate of the financial situation and should not demand for excesses. Its always better to stand up on your own legs and be financially independent and this scenario seldom brings in dispute over financial crisis.
7. Unfulfilled Expectations
If you were in a relationship with your partner before getting married, you would have probably imagined your married life as one long honeymoon. Sadly, it’ not so! (Not in the real world as we know it.) One needs to be realistic while expecting things out of a marriage, more so if you were in a relationship before. Drop your rose tinted glasses, and enter the real world where many expectations aren’t fulfilled and many demands aren’t met and things go wrong, sometimes terribly so. When you start living together with you partner, you are acquainted with certain unknown aspects of their personalities and you should learn to come to terms with that. If compromises and adjustments aren’t made, then even this can be a factor in causing a marital dispute.
Spending all 24 hours of a day with a single person can be monotonous, dry and boring. Being together all the time is not always a good idea( Too much of anything is BAD!). Waking up to someone’s face and looking at their face for the rest of the day can prove to be extremely dull, especially if the married couple doesn’t engage in any fun activities together. Variety is the spice of life and therefore, the couple should indulge in doing new, innovative things. Doing merry things together can revive a relationship.
5. Communication Gap
Busy couples hardly get time to spend with each other. Constant blip of phones, unending meetings, harassing boss, enthusiastic colleagues, all these could be a hindrance to one’s communication with their partner. This could lead to the partners neglecting each others’ feelings or even growing indifferent towards each other which is extremely unhealthy in a relationship. Communication gaps are not that hard to bridge and this problem can be effectively solved by the partners who are willing to spend some quality-time with each other.
4. Negative outlook
If the couple only looks at the negative aspect of each other then their relationship is doomed. Constant nagging, pointing out each others’ bad qualities, invalidating the partner’s better side can lead to huge fights and disputes if not looked after properly. Married couples should learn to appreciate each other and not rant about their partner continuously. One should understand that no one is perfect, absolutely no one, and that everyone has some flaws in their characters which could cause a little discomfort but can be easily overlooked. Blaming the other person all the time and bringing up their shortcomings all the time is very insensible. This leads to a lot of negativity building up and ends up ruining the relationship.
In-laws are one of the most common reasons in marital disputes. Classic examples of wives being pestered by their monster, err, mother-in-laws, have been amply given in the daily soaps which are oh-so-popular today. Parents of the partners should refrain from interfering in their affairs. Involving each others’ parents can lead to disastrous circumstances. Parents try to solve things their way and they might set things right according to their own perspective but that often leads to some collateral damage which initially goes unnoticed but later snowballs into a bigger issue. This is one of the reasons that the relationship of most of the people with their in-laws is strained. Continuous interfering of outsiders can lead to disturbance, and can also lead to discontentment even if the partners were initially adjusting. Also, sometimes some evil in-laws tend to instigate the partners against each other for no reason whatsoever which leads to marital discord and strife. Therefore, this factor makes it to spot number 3!
2. Domestic abuse
The worst thing a man can do to his wife is beat her up, and the same goes for the violent wives out there. Beating up one’s partner is horrendous and it could also lead to the abuser spending time in prison! Domestic abuse is one of the main causes which can be fatal to a healthy blooming relationship. Whether out of anger, or jealousy, violence is a strict no-no! It can also lead to a person being scarred emotionally for the rest of their lives. Hence, this is one of the most sensitive issue in today’s world too.
Adultery or Infidelity can be the last nail in the coffin if your marriage is on its way to doom. Hard to forgive and even harder to forget, this ‘sin’ can lead to the destruction of your marriage. Trust, the very foundation of a relationship suffers a big bad blow if the spouse turns out be an adulterer. Innumerable marriages have crumbled into nothing only because of one mistake of a person in a marital relationship. As they say, trust once broken is like a crumpled paper, you can’t restore it to what it was. Partners should appreciate each other and not let themselves get tempted by what lies outside the ambit of their marriage.