It is often said that marriages are made in heaven and performed on earth. True. People take in vows to be part till death. They hold on to their future plans and dwell on a good living whole life right from the start with equal obligations from both sides. But do all marriages go well? Ask yourself. Upon much pondering, your answer will be a NO. In every relation, people witness a surge of ups and downs. Some endure them while others fall to one of the problems and surrender. You keep hearing cases of divorce every now and then, and the aftermath it leads to eventually. Definitely it’s not the easiest of decisions to take by either by either of the married partners.
You may be experiencing certain irreconcilable differences and problems in your married life and perhaps switch on to the option of divorce and that seems to be the only solution to you. The concept of divorce needs to be seen from a wider societal perspective. Earlier, people married on the basis of love and faithfulness. Progressively, the pattern changed, and marriages are tied on the foundation of either to have a good family relation, to have successive heir or for self-fulfilment. With the collapse of time, certain adulteries penetrated into the core of marriage defiling it and making it impossible to sustain a long-term married life and in such cases, the option for divorce seems inevitable. It has to be mutually accepted to come to the terms and conditions of the divorce considering the pros and cons that would lead. In the contemporary era, divorces seem eminent and are in influx that look casual and are easily granted as well. And now with both men and women being independent, ending their marriage is near about peaches and cream. Reasons are diverse but just knowing about them wouldn’t suffice. You need to know how to deal with the complications and cope it up. Listed below are some of the reasons of divorce.
10. Different priorities and expectations-
Each individual is different on their own, and it’s pretty obvious that their priorities would vary accordingly. It’s an issue that, I guess, most of the couples discuss before setting off to marriage and even settle down to the required terms and conditions, but at times, it turns out to be a major problem if not handled properly or is not anticipated. No matter how much you try to bring in harmony with your priorities and expectations, they still remain distinct leading to a conflict in personality since one of you may not bend to sacrifice. Adding to this, expectations rise while in a marital bonding, and if the need is not met, it gives rise to complications. So the best way is to sit down and sort things out.
Certainly you wouldn’t want an addicted spouse who lives on drugs, comes home and causes emotional destruction to you and your children. You very well know, that an addict does not have a command on himself, so how can you expect him to control your married life? If your partner is addictive, your marriage life is prone to dissipate. It leaves a degrading impact not only to yourself but also to your family and friends. It becomes really difficult to hold on to such a marriage if proper measures are not taken on time. Seeking an immediate professional counselling would help resolve the marriage.
Ever been into an argument over who is going to do what in respect to raising your kids? Well, it’s pretty common in most of the households and contributes as one of the reasons for divorce. You might have had issues with your spouse regarding raising your child as to who would change their dirty diapers, who would take them to school or make them lunch or read them bed time stories. Now, these are certain basic responsibilities that every parent faces and should learn to share it between them. You might be busy doing some work and depend on your partner to take charge over the chores of your kid and vice-versa, and in the process, one of you become agitated and start an argument which, with time, may lead to breaking up of your marriage.
7. Feeling constrained-
Do you at times feel that your marriage is holding you back from your goals and achievements? Do you ever feel that you are not allowed to voice out your opinion regarding certain matters? If you acknowledge it positively then surely it affects your marriage. You feel yourself in chains and suffocated since your desires and achievements are not met or given prime importance by your spouse and this makes you feel dependent and dominated. Your partner doesn’t seem to be acknowledging your needs and wishes and doesn’t support you in any way, often forcing you to opt for a divorce. Just talk openly about it to your spouse and work on it together.
Now this is one of the common reasons in case of a divorce. There are couples who get bored of their married life and the lifestyles they have been living in. This usually takes place if you are committed for a considerable amount of time and the boredom affects you conspicuously after longer years of marriage. Eventually it is seen that the partners grow distant and disinterested and bored of their marriage, and this incompatibility contributes to their breakup. What they should do is to try and talk things out while recalling the good moments they have spent and find out ways that could develop a new interest in their relationship.
5. Sexual incompatibility-
Are you sexually dissatisfied? Does your partner not feed you with your physical need? Well, in that case, you feel deprived of your sexual needs which seems to be an important factor in your married life. Apparently, the issue of sexual incompatibility varies from case to case. Sometimes, it may be the case that your partner does not have time to fulfil your sexual desires or at times, it has to do with reproductive issue, like not being able to conceive a child. Also,the constant pressures from the in-laws serve in an untold turmoil. This leaves you sexually frustrated and ends up with a divorce.
4. Financial issues-
Finance can be one of the reasons for contributing to divorce. For any couple, monetary status drives an important factor. You expect to have a life with economic stability. If it’s breached by any means, there pops up a conflict and an environment of tension seeps in. Either you or your spouse argues over little financial issues which sometimes leads to a bigger one. You may be earning more that your spouse or vice-verse, that there also comes in tad jealousy. Or if both of you are struggling with money to run your family, one or both of you may decide to put an end to it. Money may not always be a serious problem, but other factors give it a push.
Abusing is one of the major causes of a divorce. Most divorce cases are seen to be occurring due to this reason. It can be physical, emotional or psychological abuse and varies from couple to couple. You may be beaten up by your partner brutally after he is drunk or he may be agitated over something and inflicts his frustration on you. You may even be called by certain disdainful names, get bullied, may also be grounded inside your room or your partner might ignore you every time you confront him. You may also be asked to do certain things that you are not comfortable with, and this traumatized you, both emotionally and physically will decide to walk out of your marriage.
2. Communication gap-
Do you keep things to yourself and do not share them with your spouse? If yes, then make up your mind to start doing so because this might be a leading factor to consume your marriage. It’s all about communication with your partner, and by communication I do not mean just an ordinary chit-chat. I mean a good and effective communication which can help you create a balance between you two. Often, we hear couples saying that they just do not understand each other. Ever wondered why is it so? It is because of the lack of proper communication. And certainly to know and fathom each other, you do need to be communicating and sharing your feeling and talking out things that disturb you.
Do you trust your partner enough? Or are you cheating him/her in any way? This needs introspection. Well, it’s obvious that a relationship is based on mutual trust and should be honoured by each. But what if one of them violates it? This puts you on scrutiny by your partner and puts a dent on your marital life. Indulging into an extra-marital affair seems to be rampant and a major reason behind thousands of divorces. It creates a lack of trust from one or both sides and dissolves the marriage. Imagine you being caught cheating your partner by your partner with someone else? Nothing but divorce is on the way!