Matrimony is believed to be a sacred bond between two people; two people who find each other and are thrilled to spend the rest of their lives together. But with the looks of how marriages have been taking a shorter course over the past few years, it now seems as if only Disney can produce the most perfect relationships that actually last forever.
It has definitely become an accepted fact that divorce rates are escalating at an unstoppable rate all over the world. Perhaps marriages have lost the sanctity and the holistic effect with which it was once looked at. All around us we find marriages falling apart. We are frequently told of stories where newlyweds divorce their spouses after just weeks into their marriage, sometimes days and frighteningly sometimes even hours. Some of the reasons for the rapidly increasing divorce rates are as follows:-
When a sense of insecurity starts to creep into a marriage, it gradually becomes prone to instability and it moves to unsteady ground. This insecurity could be due to reasons such as financial stress. This is highly imperative in today’s society where people cannot do without materialistic gains and exhibitionist displays. When a family is financially unstable, it leads to an enormous amount of stress and exposes the couple to options like divorce. Other potentially insecure situations that could put the couple in danger of divorce are when one or both of the spouses are inadequately educated or when they do not have good jobs that can sustain the family. Such circumstances put immense pressure on marriages and not all couples can bear the strain, which slowly pushes them away.
9. Relationship between parents
The circumstance and situation in which a person is brought up has a strong influence in the way he approaches his marriage. People raised in a divorced family are regarded to face twice the risk of getting divorced in their own marriages. It cannot be ignored that when a child sees his parents separating, the child may develop a certain aversion and contempt towards the idea of marriage, which, as a result involuntarily affects the future of his own marriage.
8. Teenage affairs
With changing patterns in our society like the evolution of social media and the breaking of communicational barriers, it has become several times easier for teenagers to indulge in affairs and sexual relationships. When these relationships convert into teenage marriages, they are twice more likely to end in divorce than normal marriages . Determinants like immaturity, impulsiveness and the inability to take on the responsibilities that are attached to a marriage makes teenage married couples more vulnerable to the risk of ending up divorced.
7. Over In-dependency
Sometimes couples like to live in a delusional world where they think everything will go perfect because they are in “love”. But once they start facing a problem, they are too overwhelmed with their sense of in-dependency that they rarely seek outside help. Most marriage problems are easily solvable with a little bit of marriage guidance and counseling. But couples often refrain from admitting they have a problem and seeking some external help, leading them straight to courts.
6. Family systems facing modifications
Joint families were once upon a time the most common way of living. However, the system of nuclear families has almost replaced this. The children that grow up in joint families are much more habituated with adjusting with other family members and sharing resources. Hence, when these children grow up and enter into a marital status, they fit better with their in-laws and are able to tune themselves to the new familial environment. On the other hand, people that have grown up in nuclear families find it much harder to get accustomed to their new familial conditions. They may not be able to adapt to their new homes or tolerate their in-laws. Such issues build up and breed to cause considerable damage between the spouses, hence adding to factors that lead to divorce.
5. Lack of commitment
Researches have shown that over 70% of divorcees site the lack of commitment from their spouse as a major determining factor in their failed marriage. When a person proclaims his/ her wedding vows or circles seven times around the sacred fire, the person also expects his spouse to fulfill the oaths that he/she promised as well. No husband or wife is fond of bearing more responsibilities than the other. Both expect a certain level of commitment and dedication towards each other and the relationship. When one feels that the other is not holding up their end of the bargain, the marriage could slide downhill, leading to a divorce petition.
4. Loyalty and Fidelity
Undoubtedly, the idea of chastity has weakened in almost every culture. When couples are unhappy with some factor in their relationship, they are too quick to seek satisfaction and relief from a source that is external to the marriage. As the feature of loyalty faces a diminuendo, spouses very often stray away from their marital vows and promises, and easily find themselves in the midst of unfaithful acts. Most couples that have faced some measure of infidelity find it very difficult to recover from such acts. Therefore, as they fail to repair their marital relationships, the next step they take is the inevitable divorce.
3. Changing social stigma
Marriage is no longer perceived to be a sacred and holy matrimony. Its meaning has radically shifted over the recent past, and has almost lost the qualities it was once stringed to. With people’s ideologies and outlooks towards marriage spinning in new directions, it is no longer attributed to being a sanctified step taken as a spiritual union between two people or as the well-deserved end to a perfect love story. Hence, as the concept of marriage transitions away from what it used to be, couples do not dedicate enough of their time and effort to upholding their marriage anymore. This could also be due to reasons such as the rising spread of secularism all over the globe and the steadily receding command of religion over societies and families. Consequently, the figures of weddings that are conducted through religious ceremonies are also decreasing. These factors have led to several changes in the undercurrents that control a married couple. A few generations ago, once a dispute erupts between a husband and wife, it is believed that they would submit egos and put in significant effort, as they were highly determined to sustain their marriage due to the values and morals that matrimony was associated with. However, times have changed and couples no longer altruistically work to repair their relationships and keep themselves away from divorce.
2. Claim of genders
With the turn of the century, the dynamics between men and women have most certainly transformed and have veered into a different lane. Women no longer play the roles of submissive wives who are tied to pots and stoves. The position they have commanded in the society has changed. They have lifted off their dependency on men and shed their titles of being the settlers in a marriage. Therefore, with women fastened into their newly carved roles, they ensure that their reality is nothing short of their expectations. If this aspect is not fulfilled, they will definitely move on for a divorce. 75% of all divorce petitions are initiated by women.
1. Changing paradigm of acquiring a divorce
Until several years ago, divorce was a concept that the society in general was unaccustomed to. The phenomenon was very uncommonly ensued and was almost seen as a taboo in countries with conservative cultures. However, people have now grown to accept the idea and become inured to it. Today, carrying forward a divorce is an easy and doable procedure. This factor has undoubtedly played a central role in increasing the weight of divorce statistics. Couples no longer shy away from admitting to the society that they have failed in upholding their marriage. With divorce being a very inexpensive process, it has become an almost customary proceeding as there’s nothing that hinders a couple from divorce anymore. Without the fear of being side lined by others, people do not continue on to suffer in unhappy or meaningless marriages like they probably would have a few decades ago.