When was the last time you made your spouse feel special? Have you taken your wife out to a romantic dinner just like the old times? Close your eyes for a second and try to recall your wedding day. Can you still paint the picture of her eyes gleaming beautifully as you two were being bound joined in holy matrimony? To all the married women reading this article, do you still seek solace from all your stress in your husband’s arms? If the answers aren’t what you wished they were, you have got a problem. You’ll probably hear your best friend pointing it out to you that your marriage has lost the ‘spark’. Well, your friend is quite true. Though you have been living under the same roof, you are no longer living for each other. You think the magic has faded away and the feelings you had for each other are no longer strong. Being a human, you are craving for that love and attention and your marriage is not turning out as you had dreamt it would. Sooner or later, you will be looking for it in the wrong places. There is nothing worse for your marriage than being involved in an extra marital affair. Breaking your spouse’s trust will be the worst thing to do.
Guilt is a heavy boulder lying on your chest and constantly making your conscience tell you that you are wrong. Guilt leads to psychological problems if not dealt with properly. There are only two way to remove guilt. The first way is to tell the truth and confess. The second way is to not do the act in the first place and keep guilt away. Telling the truth will make you feel better but it will surely invite a lot of problems. No doubt telling the truth is the right thing to do but it might even lead to divorce and you will be embarrassed when people will come to know about the reason. Your reputation will be ruined and you will have to battle depression and other psychological and emotional problems. So don’t you think that not being in an extra marital affair is far better than breaking your spouse’s trust?
Marriage is all about trust. It’s the foundation of the bond shared between a husband and his wife. Not just a marriage but every relationship flourishes if there is trust. The moment you married your partner, you committed to stand by him/her forever. Through thick and thin you must hold your partner’s hand and assure him/her that no matter what, your love and support is never ending. Having an extra marital affair is breaking the trust of your spouse. If you can’t be trustworthy, even your extra marital affair will not progress and you will be left all alone. Your spouse trusted you when he/she married you and this is how you give returns? By breaking his/her trust? Believe me when I say that your soul will never be at peace if you even think of cheating on your better half. Even the thought of breaking your partner’s trust questions your character. Is this the way you want your children to see you? A person who can’t be trusted?
8. Variety is not the spice of a married person’s life.
Men who claim casual flings and one night stands are mere entertainments and their true love is their wife, clearly do not know the meaning of true love. Many people argue that it’s the male libido that demands variety and extra marital affairs have been in existence since ancient times. It’s hard to believe that people can be so ridiculous when they are trying to hide their shortcomings. The male libido is more influenced by psychological factors than by biological factors. It is totally up to one’s own self to control his desires. Men claim that as years roll by, they don’t get the same satisfaction as they used to and they would like to be involved with other women. Well, let me tell you, true love never dies and if you can’t be content with the woman you married then no woman will ever be enough for you. Sex allows you to bond with your partner in a stronger manner both emotionally as well as mentally. The moment it becomes a means of just satisfying one’s sex drive, the relationship begins to lose its charm and crumble.
No matter how fulfilling the new affair seems at first, the emotional mayhem in your heart will surely take its toll. In the beginning, the new found affection and attention will provide you with the joy which seemed to be absent from your married life but as time will go on, you will soon realise that this relationship is wrong. You will start questioning yourself and wonder whether you are right or wrong. To give yourself false consolation, you will try to find absurd reasons and wrongly blame your partner for not being able to make you happy, all the while knowing it deep inside your heart that it’s you who is actually at fault. The fact is that we all live in a monogamous society and the values instilled in you will object your relationship. It won’t be long before you will lose self-respect and you might even face social problems.
If you are a parent then you should always stay away from extra marital affairs. Especially when your kids are small, you should be very careful of what your children perceive of you. If your spouse knows that you have another lover, there is no doubt that there will be troubles. It will lead to arguments with your partner and there will be a huge possibility that your children will come to know about your act. It will create a negative influence on them and you will be the bad guy. If your child knows that you have been the reason behind his mother’s tears, you will no more have his respect, leading to a ruined father-child relationship, possibly for your whole life.
5. Damaging your spouse’s self-esteem
After your partner finds out about your extra marital affair or you tell the truth yourself, his/her self-esteem will be greatly damaged. Your partner will think that he/she was not enough for you and this will be bad for your spouse’s psychological stability. Depression is a major concern in such cases and it might even lead to other diseases and life problems such as decrease in efficiency at work. The fact is that even though you will be at fault because it was you who cheated on him/her and not the other way round, your spouse will go through mental and emotional pain because of blaming himself/herself.
4. Loss of respect for you in your social circle
An extra marital affair is hard to hide. The guilt is too strong and you will succumb to the urge of telling someone about your straying love life. Before you know it, word will spread around and almost everyone will come to know that you are not loyal to your spouse. People will look at you with a strange look, especially people who considered you to be a person who could never hurt his/her better half. Some of your friends will criticise you and some might even start ignoring you. All the reputation you worked so hard to earn will not take much of your immoral acts to vanish into thin air.
3. Disrupting the family unity
You and your spouse will eventually separate if he/she does not choose to forgive you. Even if you are ready to end the extra marital relationship, a huge possibility will be that your spouse won’t take you back. You might argue that everyone makes a mistake and everyone deserves a second chance but then who are you to tell your partner about right and wrong. No matter how much you will want it, you will not be able to decide if divorce is the right option or not. You will lose a big part of your life, your family. You won’t be able to be with your kids whenever you want to. Your parents won’t be able to spend time with their daughter-in-law. Things might get heated up between you and your in-laws. In a nutshell, your happy family will be broken up just because of your stupid and weak moments.
You only get one chance to make your married life happy. Do you remember the day when you said the words, “until death do us part”? The day you married your better half, you made a commitment to him/her. If you are unable to stand by your commitment, you are not successful as a human. No matter how much money you earn, no matter how much successful your career is, you will be a failure as a human being if you fail to live up to your commitment you made to your sweetheart.
1. There is only ONE
Yes, there is only one better half for you. God works in mysterious ways. If you were deeply in love with each other when you married, your spouse is THE ONE for you. It does not matter how much you look for love, if its not your spouse, the place is wrong. Your partner is all you need to fill your life with all the love and joy you crave for. With a little more effort and a tiny bit more of understanding, the magic will be back