Friendship is an amazing bond that relates you with some even more amazing people. Your friends can brighten you up on a gloomy day and they can increase your happy times by a factor of hundreds. You choose who you want as your friend unlike family relations. These are the people who understand you the best and have seen you rise and fall and stayed with you through it all. We do all stupid sort of stuff with our friends. Our friends are familiar with each and every nerve of ours and they love us for exactly who we are. But what happens when something comes in between that friendship? What if one of the friends starts developing a soft corner for another one? We cannot choose whom we fall in love with and whom not and when this love somehow comes between friendships, then it may lead to a tricky situation, not just for the one who has evolved these feelings but also for other people around them. These people can include obviously the person at the receiver end but also the common friends. Let’s have a look at what problems love can create in friendships and 10 reasons why it is NOT good for friendship.
10. The fun gets lost
With friends, you are random, silly, playful, notorious and what not. You don’t have to think before saying anything or doing anything because you know that you won’t be misunderstood. So you be just the way you are, your playful self. But if a friend starts liking another friend, then somewhere that fun, that randomness gets lost. You can no longer do things without giving a thought as it may be misinterpreted by the other person. They may not like it or get mad over you for that. For example, what used to be a friendly hug might just turn into a frequent need for one, while the other one starts feeling suffocated because of it. In this way, a very basic essence of friendship goes missing.
Awkwardness is pretty inevitable in this case. Flourishing or expressing such feelings for a friend, which crosses the barriers of friendship creates a rather awkward situation for everyone involved. If you have fallen for your friend, you start behaving weird and get all clumsy around them because you are in a constant pressure to impress them and come out as a likable personality. Or if you are the person your friend has fallen for and you are not liking this particular behaviour of theirs then you start feeling uncomfortable around them. You look for excuses to dodge all encounters with them, you freak out when you are left alone with them. Sounds familiar no?
8. Expectations rise
When you are friends with somebody, you don’t keep much expectation as there is no space for any sort of formality. Yet they surprise you with their sweet acts of love and keep showering you with unconditional affection. But once that “special friend” becomes your crush, your expectations are bound to rise. Being your friend you anticipate them to reciprocate to your feelings but they may not feel like that. Now you want them to pay much more attention on you, spend more time with you and give you that special space that you have already given to them. One may start feeling that their crush is being mean by not responding to their feelings the way they want them to while the truth is not like that.
So I think you all agree that falling in love with your buddy entails many notions in your mind and these notions leads to disappointments. And disappointments leads to frustrations. And come on! You can’t blame them for this, after all you fell in love, they still haven’t. And you don’t know what to do now. How to evoke the same feelings in your friend’s heart. And now you are sad, crimped, disheartened and confused. Oh dear Cupid! Why did you do this?
Being a little possessive for your boyfriend or girlfriend is kind of cute. You get jealous when you see them spending too much time with some other person of the opposite sex. You don’t really like it when your friends mention how much they would love to have a guy or girl like yours. But being possessive for your friend? A Special friend? It comes bit naturally for the one who has started thinking of their friend as a special someone. But the person you have become possessive for, lately, probably hates it. And instead of bringing you two close, this might make that person hostile towards you.
So you love you your best friend and somehow gathered courage to tell him/her about it. Feeling great? I think you should not, at least not till you get a Yes. You have just now put your friend in biggest dilemma of their life, whether to go for a relationship or stay as friends. That person might really respect you a lot and love you as a friend but is not ready to accept you as a lover. Or they might not have those feelings for you. In this situation they can’t accept your proposal but they will think that denying it will spoil the friendship.
4. Common Friends suffer
One sided love between friends creates problem not just for immediate two people but for many others as well. The whole friend circle gets afflicted and they are often forced to choose sides. One person likes the other one but the latter wishes just to be friends, now what shall the common friends do? Whom to support? Nobody is right or wrong and this choice does not come easy. If you encourage one friend to woo their crush then the crush might get upset. If you don’t, then the former one will feel ditched. All of it leads to a tricky and unfavourable condition which reminds you that love is so not good for friendship.
3. Friendship suffer
While all this – falling for, accepting feelings, expressing them, dilemma etc is occurring, the worst hit of all is the friendship between those two people. They are just not able to be friends anymore. A whole lot of complications have got comprehended in that simple bond of friendship. The friendly chats, hugs, pats, hanging out, partying together, all become a matter of thought. And your friendship which took months or years of bonding suffers big time.
2. No stepping back
Plunging into a friend’s love might seem to be a lovely thought for a moment but after not getting appreciation for that love from the other side, one wishes that this should not have happened. They should have remained friends only and then they would not have to deal with this awkwardness or dicey situations and the trauma of a heartbreak. But the sad part is that you can’t step back. Once you are in that love bubble, no matter how much you try but you just can’t go back to being friends. Your heart has started feeling for somebody in a particular way, then it’s a very intricate, and mostly impossible, task to undo it.
1. You lost a friend
There was a person so dearest to you with whom you used to share every thought of yours, every experience and likewise they did too. You guys were the best of friends. But what just happened? You are not even able to tell him/her that you love them. They are not able to give a straight forward response to your feelings. Where did that “say anything without thinking, share everything” policy of yours go? You don’t know? Well that’s because you are not that type of friend with them anymore. You don’t feel very comfortable to reveal your feelings and intentions. And your friend is worried about how you would feel about their answer. So try keeping love and friendship on two different tracks.