Love is an extremely difficult thing to control and avoiding feelings for your ex can be a herculean task. Break up is not just about parting ways but forgetting and getting over with your partner is equally important and requires much effort. Time and again your past love life will flash in front of your eyes frequently and may leave you carving to be with your ex again. You might feel jealous on seeing them when they interact with someone else. You still might admire the good things about them and regret moving out of relationship but there is no point crying over spill milk. Remember, you did what you thought to be best at that time. Your decision must have been harsh but the better lies in acknowledging the fact that it was your decision and you had something on your mind when you thought of parting ways with them. Stay on it and be strong enough to face all type of nasty situations. You might see them change, but make a note that this change might be transitory, an attempt just to get you back. But if you feel that the change is genuine, something permanent and you can accept the fact that this was the same person who hurt you and played with your feelings (if these were the reasons of your break up), then there’s no point discussing the topic, be determined about your decision and there’s no problem in being with them again. But if your break up was result of infidelity or misbehavior and you are finding it hard to trust them again, then need not consider you decision, it might leave you picking up the broken pieces even this time. If you feel that you are not willing about it, then here are a few tried and tested ways to avoid falling in love with your ex again:
10. What needs to be on the top?
Love and relationship can always interfere with other aspects of one’s life like one’s career or family or other areas which demand a lot from you. Deciding your priorities is important as it solves a lot of confusion. As soon as you will be prepared with your priority list, you will know what place do love occupy in your life and notice things which require equal or may be more of your attention in life than love. When you will succeed in fixing your focus on other important goals in your life, self- determination will rise naturally in your heat to move on from those feelings which have left you stuck at one place.
9. Enjoy the second chance
It’s better to be alone than to be with the wrong one. How do you take your break up is up to you. I would say, think positively. You have been blessed with a second chance to make up for everything you missed when you were single before this time. Your commitments or may be your partner’s restrictions must have played the spoilsport in the fun. Now it’s time to resume. Enjoy your singlehood again. Give yourself some time before changing your relationship status to ‘in a relationship’ again. You can flirt around or talk to strangers. There won’t be any promises or commitments to resist you.
8. Add friends to your life
When you remove a ring from your finger, you feel its absence for some time. Similarly, when a person moves out of your life the fact can disturb you for long. The best option to avoid falling for your ex is to add friends to your life. This will not only help you get over with them but will also fill the void there absence has created in your life. Try resuming contacts with old friends; go for outings, get together and everything you avoided because of your relationship.
7. Keep a distance from them
Avoid any private meetings or conversations with them. Meeting him personally or talking to him when nobody is around can revive romance. And that’s a big no- no! Make sure to have someone around you when you are with them. Even if you are compelled to be with him/ her in private then avoid talking about your past, when you both were dating. Add a touch of formality to your discussion. Don’t open up with all your feelings about him. And it will work the best if you just limit your conversation with them. Any sort of intimacy will show that you still care and they might take advantage of this. Don’t let them fool you. If they try to kiss or hug you, refuse on the face of it. Tell them the decision about your break up (no matter from whose side it was) should be respected. Let them regret losing a person like you.
6. Let the new hunt begin
If a tree sheds its leaves, they can never be attached again to the tree but definitely new leaves can take its place. Go out and start looking around for the right person. Have a broad outlook, your ex was not the only person, may be others can win your admiration better but you never gave a chance to anybody. May be your ex was never meant to be in your life, like as they say they had a small role and went away as soon as they completed their part. When a new person will come into your life, they will add a new charm around you and chances are you won’t be able to think about them anymore, forget falling in love with them again. But remember not to start any relationship with any of their friends. Don’t even talk to them. It can be really messy. Beware.
5. Keep yourself busy
The best way avoid falling in love with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is by keeping yourself from thinking about them. Now how to do this; their face, their memories capture your mind every now and then. The best idea is to keep yourself busy. The best option is start meeting new people, make new friends. But if you are not much into this you can discover other engagements. You can develop any hobby of yours or can discover new passions to heights that they entangle you completely and you become unwilling to think beyond this new found infatuation. Avoid thinking about them especially during nights. This will the time when you will miss them the most. The easy way out is to listen to refreshing music or have a chat with friends or have something to read so that you easily go off to sleep.
4. Go a little deeper
Like every relationship, yours too was surely a mix of both good and bad. The good brings tears to your eyes more than what bad hurts you. A good way out is to start making a note of things, mentally, that you liked about them or that made you love them. Locating the source of your feeling will be a good help in controlling your emotions. You can generate warnings to your heart when you find yourself falling prey to these things the next time they are around you. Ask yourself what do you miss the most about them and start working on the areas. Like if you miss those good morning and good night texts or greetings and gifts or talking on phone, ask any of your friends to do that for you, or now a days there are special sites which help you deal with break up and save you from falling in love with your ex by doing these small things for you. You can have a membership there.
3. One more list to go
Take a little time out of your schedule and prepare the list of all the negatives, about them and your relationship with them. Recall all the bad things they have done to you. Go through this list at least once every day. It will not only keep you from remembering the good time but will also help in you in maintaining a distance from them as you will begin to develop slight aversion against them.
2. No-no, no hatred
You have to develop a dislike for them. Impede developing hatred for them as it might show reverse effects. Forcing yourself to abandon them might leave you disturbed. So rather than completely withdrawing from your past, just realize the boundaries. Moreover, if you will throw away all your memories altogether, you will regret it later.
1. Friendship won’t work here
Avoid being friends with your ex. You can never be. You have to stay away from them. By making them your friend, most probably old emotions will rekindle and you might not be able to control your feelings. Your purpose of not falling in love with him/ her will be defeated badly and can add intricacy to your relationship.