We live in societies surrounded by people all around us few of those are friends and well wishers, few might be those who do not care, and few are simply just curious to know everything that happens in our lives. Believe me when I say, that I know your problem of one such snoopy neighbor living your next door and whom neither you can avoid, nor you want to be close by, as months back I went through a similar problem and I had to deal with it.
It is always healthy to have neighbors and get along with people in your surroundings, but there is always a limit and one should not cross the line of privacy of the other person. Not all fingers look alike, similarly not all neighbors are bad or annoying or a trouble maker. There are some good people and it is much necessary to have people around you for a lot many reasons.
So before you judge or decide a neighbor to avoid, because his or her behaviors are making you annoyed, troubled and invading your privacy, make sure how much of trouble the person is.
They come in different forms, some might be simply curious and over friendliness which might be unnecessary for us, some might be over protective of a neighbor or sometimes there can be a stalker who might be dangerous as well.
So before you learn how to deal with that someone for the sake whom you dread to pass through your door in the morning or to enter peacefully by the time you return back to your home, try to learn about the person a bit more and about why they do whatever they do.
Here are 10 ways to deal with a snoopy or a nosy neighbor,
10. Tell them straight
One hell of a way to deal with a snoopy neighbor is just be straight to them and tell them not to intervene in your personal matters and maintain distance. Although I agree this sounds a bit aloof and painful way and sometimes it is also sure that you might loose a neighbor. At times some people gets so annoying that there will be no options left and going along with the invasion of a third person in our day to day activities can be stressful. At such times, telling them directly to stop snooping around you or your family could be the only option and if need be, one have to do.
9. Politely decline to answer their questions
As much as it is satisfactory to tell someone to butt off from our lives, we still have to think of its consequences sometimes, we never know when the person comes in handy. It is always advisable to analyze the kind of trouble the neighbor is posing, is it harming you in a large perspective, or is it just a kind of irritation. Try to talk to the person in a polite way, and let them know about what they are trying to do is causing a discomfort to you and you would like if they can change it. You can say things like, after small chat with them “ I have noticed you watching over me lately, but please do not worry, I will take care myself, and please do not stress yourself or worry yourself to look out for me, it makes me bit uncomfortable” and also “ If I need any help I will surely turn up to you”. Things like that could be told in a polite way which can save your name an another trip in the gossip bulletin, that you and your neighbor had a tiff.
8. Make friends if it is a lonely elderly people
Believe me it works and this is what I did when I had one such similar problem. When we move into a new place and trying to make new friends and getting acquainted with the people around us, we build up our own likes and dislikes towards different families. In most families and in every part of the world there is an old age person who would love gossip and who tries to snoop around their neighbors and who is always curious to know what happening in their lives. Such people try to build their own stories and theories, but some are really harmless. So just invite the person to a coffee some day to your home, and be your nicer self. Once you get to know the person and they get to know you, sometimes people stop gossiping about you or even to bother you just because they start liking you and do not wish to hurt your feelings.
7. Talk to other family member
If a snoopy neighbor has got a family living along with him or her, than it can be for our advantage as it always helps. Sometimes it is not easy to talk to the person either directly or indirectly in a polite way to stop being as nosy as they are and you would like to have some privacy. In such cases it always helps if there is any other family member and if you could have a chat with them. Talk to the other family person and let them know about how you are feeling and find out a way to stop the trouble. Maybe the family person might suggest some ideas, or they can even have a word with the neighbor you have trouble with. Sometimes the troubling neighbor might be an young person and their parents can have a word with him or her habits. So take aid of family people to stop the troubles of your neighbor.
6. Get police protection in case of a stalker
Its an uncertain world, and we never know who lives next door. We might think we know the person well, but many a times, the person who is most friendly with all is the one turns out to be a culprit of crime. So be careful, and keep a watch if your neighbor is just a harmless nosy person or if he or she is really stalking you. There are some people who try to know everything about who visits your place, and they learn about those people too, tries to have details about you, follows you where you go, keeps watching every time you walk out and walk in, taking pictures of you, etc can all be the symptoms of a serious stalker. In such cases it is always better to change the place if its rented or take police protection. Keep your house protected with camera and alarms.
5. Irritate them by asking for things every time they snoop at you
People who gossip and snoop around others are the one who usually do not like to be disturbed or do not like to be noticed. They just try to know about your lives in which ever way they can and sometimes they even come to you and ask directly about what they might have heard. So shock them when you notice them trying to hear about whatever happening in your home and ask for simple favors every time, you notice them. This will keep them at bay. For example, when you have guest on your front door and you all having a good time, your neighbor obviously wants to know what the fun is all about. Call out to him or her, say ‘Hi’ loudly, and ask them if she or he can lend few chairs and bit of any eatables available as you have sudden guest at home and you have run out of stalk. Very less people are generous to lend things when it gets repetitive and they like to stay indoor for the fear of you asking something else from their house.
4. Be exclusive and keep your activities behind doors
Talking mouths always needs something new, and if you feed these mouths it never stops. There is a saying as “ where there is a smoke there have to be a fire”, so when there is a gossip there has to be something. The story might be twisted, but every gossip will be having some angle through which it came from. Hence keep your personal matters private and your activities private. Be as much as exclusive among others and maintain a distance with the gossiping group of your locality. Make friends with all and share little about your private life. As much as you like to share what the fight was all about between you and your spouse, or you and your parent or in laws etc, none can give a solution to it. If need be you can talk to a trusted friend but certainly not with a neighbor. Let others not know what happens inside your house everyday.
3. Tit for Tat
Agree its not right but nothing wrong if it helps. Some people plainly needs to know the pain they are causing others and when they realize the pain what they are giving to others, they stop. It might not help always, but we can try. Next time when your neighbor come asking you questions about your private life or things which you do not wish to talk about, ask them a question about them which you might know, and which you know that it can be a discomfort for them to answer. The next moment he or she will be running off to his or home back is for sure, when you start interfering their lives. Well, yes! you need to know about the person a bit to talk about. But careful do not ever gossip whatever you learn to other neighbors, nothing can be as worse than that. You only want to send the nosy neighbor sniffing back his tail to his home and not trouble you any further.
As difficult it sounds, ignoring is the best solution of all. Some neighbors are very troublesome and have to be dealt with and some are harmless. They only have one thing to pass their time is by talking about the things happening around us and its not only you they target on or its not that they have any personal grudge on you. As long as what they talk to you asking too many unwanted questions about your life or try to talk about you to others, is harmless, the best way to deal, is ignore them. Ignore the person without having much of talk, let the person know that you ignore. When he or she realizes that you do not care about what talks are about or that you do not wish to talk to them, such people gradually stop either talking to you or talking about you. Because after some time, the same things gets boring and they always need something juicer.
1. Call them with nick names, warn family members
People who tend to gossip have a kind of habit and for some its an addiction, They do not realize what they are doing and how they are harming others, Talking to such people and letting them know can also be useless sometimes, as they just simply cannot stop. All that we can do is just ignore, but we do not wish our personal matters be a talk in the gossip world as well. Such nosy neighbors even try to know matters in all possible ways, like they might try to talk to the other family members of us, or if there are children around. Young children might not know the intention of such people, and they just plainly answer every questions asked to them. Hence inform your family members about such neighbor, have nick name to him or her, so that you can warn the family members when the neighbor is watching. For example lets call the nosy neighbor as ‘cat’. You and your children are in the front yard planting flowers and your kid is talking about something which you do not wish others to know, and your snoopy neighbor is trying to hear, you can just say to your child that he or she should stop because there is a cat. Of course the family members should know the nick name as well and be well informed as not to talk to the neighbor about anything.