Have You Lost a Closed One? Here are 10 Tips to Move On

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There is a popular cliche saying which goes like this. Life only moves in one direction-forward. You are changing and so are the people around you. Just because the people or the circumstances were favorable for you in the past doesn’t mean that they will be in the days to come. The circumstances may be a relationship, job, home, a habit, family problems or financial problems. Ann Landers once famously quoted, “Some people believe holding on is a sign of great strength. However,there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and do it. There are n number of reasons for letting go and moving on. You may have grown apart from someone or have been feeling relatively unhappy due to a situation. Your goals and needs have changed which forced you to track down a different way. If your past is holding onto you and you feel it almost impossible to learn anything new, it is high time that you introspect and give a thought to your conscience. You need to get over the lost one and move on. He/she won’t come back now, and it will be easier to forget rather regret. Here are 10 tips to move on.

10. Accept


For all the experiences that made you laugh and cry, helped you to learn and grow, be thankful to the almighty. Then let them go. The acceptance of everything we had and then to forget the loss are the possibilities that lie ahead us. Let us find the strength to embrace life’s changes. Trust your intuition, learn as you tread ahead. The problem that lies behind us is about realizing that every experience, be it good or bad has value. Do not dishearten yourself with the loss of a dear one or a close friend. Be thankful for the moments shared with them and remember all the good memories. Take positive steps forward.

9. Distance yourself


Sometimes it is better to rest rather tread. Take a break. Explore something else for a while. In order to gain clarity on a situation, you need to take several steps back. Why is this so? The answer is so that you can return to where you started. The point will give you a better perspective and insight. In fact,they will give you a new set of eyes. Do you really want to repent and spend half your day in lamenting and weeping over the loss? It is better to return rather never leave the situation.

8. Focus


Loss in the form of death is never meant to be understood. Death is harsh and uncalled for. It can’t be modified or even comprehended. Live, let go, learn and don’t waste your energy. Don’t while away your time about the things which can’t be brought back or can’t be changed. Focus on the present. Live in the moment. The present is what you can change and if you don’t like the present change the way you think about it. This is the best possible way to cope with a loss. Review and re-frame your thoughts. Channel them into achieving something better. If you focus on what you are about to lose just because that special person is no more in your lives, you will never move forward. Instead focus on the present state of yourself. Think about the ways you can get over it.

7. Claim control


The only person responsible for you is you, yourself. As long as you choose to claim and own your life, you will be in full control of it. If you are no more with the person, don’t blame him/her for the bereavement. Blame the circumstances. They are just part and parcel of life. It is never your fault. But your fault comes into view when you don’t want to change. If you don’t want to let go and move on with your life, you will be at the suffering end.

6. Bereavement groups


The people in the same boat tend to feel the rock together. Find people who are going through the same phase. Talk with them, share your woes. You will feel light inwards. Bereavement groups offer a place where you can cry and accept that you are not the only one. There are others like you who cry and sympathize. The help groups help them come to grips with their lost hopes and dreams and begin, albeit slowly, to find joy and meaning in their lives. If you are losing your mind over the grief, these groups will enormously sustain for the people. As per observers, support groups that focus on a specific loss are more successful than general help groups. A girl who has lost her father will need different mental assistance than a guy who has lost his best friend.

5. Relax with family


Don’t let your family be the last option for solving your problems. Your family should be the first priority. They have been with you be it your success or failure. Go on a long vacation with them. Your mother has been waiting to board the plane and take a break from the daily routine. Your dad must be wishing for a vacation you take him with. How can you forget about your little brothers and sisters who are willing to take a leave from school? There is nothing equivalent to bringing smiles on your parents’ face.

4. Do never-done things


Do things that can get your mind off the loss. Join a hobby class or a club. This is a great way to make new friends who are interested in the same things as you are. This way you will be able to get over the loss of your dear friend. Nature always rushes in to fill any voids. In a similar manner, when one thing leaves you, a vacancy is created which is to be filled. You need to fill it with a new friend, a new person. You never know when a new entry in your life can change the course of it.

3. Allow the grieving process


Bereavement is a process. It must be known that every person has his or her own way to cope with the grief. There is no time constraint on your grief. There are stages in the process, and you must allow yourself to go through each and every stage for the grief to be completely uprooted. Stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and at last acceptance. You may find it impossible to accept the loss of your loved one and feel angry about his absence. You will find all the possible ways to negotiate with god and ask him questions like “if only”. Don’t be surprised if you see yourself asking such questions and retrospection. The depression will not last forever. The final stage refers to coming in terms with the loss and moving forward.

2. Watch television


Television can be the best entertainment partner. Watch movies, catch up with old serials and watch cookery shows. Try them real hand when alone or feeling depressed. Cooking is one of the best pastimes. It is very intuitive and can teach you things like patience and art. What better could be to cook a tasty dish all by yourself and getting it ready for your family? Snuggle with your teddy while watching a movie. Take note of recent happenings. It has been weeks since you put on the news channel. Let us catch up with some news events.

1. Gorge


Eat ice-cream. The best way to get over a broken relationship, a mishap, any tragedy with your family or friends is to bring home an ice-cream bucket. Take the biggest spoon in your kitchen and dig in. Gorge on your favorite ice-cream flavor but with care. Don’t end up getting sick and sore. You can also try out new foods and food joints. Eating is the best way to forget and forgive. Don’t waste any more time in sulking. Enough of it already! March out of the house and bring that butterscotch brick while you return.


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