Marriages are unique social ritual where two people decide to spend their entire life together. Accepted as holy bond in every religion, it connects two different families together. Yet being an attempt to connect so many indifference together it faces many ups and downs, in practical life. Few withstands the ups and downs and the rest call it a quit, leading to divorce.
Often the small issues left overlooked ultimately takes the shape of a big problem leading to split ups. It has been perceived that most of the reasons leading to divorce could have been fixed. Yet merely knowing the most common causes is not enough to fix everything; rather it takes effort to rectify them. But to rectify them first of all you need to know them. Hence here are top 10 most common reasons for divorce:
10. Monotonous Married Life
Old may not be gold always, it may corrode. Likewise, many a time’s relationships corrode too. After several years of marriages people say the bond gets stronger but in few cases the bond disappears. Couples turn insignificant, indifferent and disinterested towards each other. Their monotonous routine lifestyle starts decaying the bond, leading to boredom from marriages. Eventually the couple starts to feel the growing distance between them, tearing their bond apart. When this boredom reaches saturation level, couples calls it quit and tends to take the step :divorce.
You might have argued with your spouse for naming your new born, choosing school for or doing mere daily chores. Well this very simple child rearing conflicts are major reason of divorce too. When two different individual join hands together for a purpose conflicts are obvious. Child rearing issues is no different, often parents end up quarreling on small matters like how to discipline their children, choosing foods for them or sharing responsibilities like picking and dropping them for school, dance classes, swimming and so on, playing with them, etc. these conflict accentuates stress amid couples.
Addictions are often quite abstruse to deal in a relationship. Addictions like drugs, alcohol, gambling, gadgets, social network, shopping etc, the ones which were not known before or have developed recently may be a prominent factor for split up. One finds it difficult to count on an addict leading to lack of trust and insecurity. Addictions directly result into destruction of faith, thus leading to alarming results.
Marriage not only binds two souls together but it integrates families too. Apart from being husband or wife one has to fit in several other roles too; proving themselves in front of their in laws, raising children etc. Hence marriage has several responsibilities associated with it. Sometimes people get too much engulf into these roles that they soon get fed up and develop a suffocated outlook towards their marriage.Apart from this, responsibilities give rise to lots of arguments. Often couple end up quarreling every now on then about every small issues. Rather than sorting out they tend to blame each other for who did what and who did not . Even the mere household work becomes a big reason for fight. Thus, right from household to relationships, the associated responsibilities do creates tension amid couple leading to separation.
Abuses are the worst to bear in any relationship. This deeply affects ones emotional as well as physical stature of the personality. Abuse may appear in the Physical, emotional or psychological form, and also from either one (husband or wife). An abusive relationship starts with dominating or controlling action and further takes a disastrous form. People often call it a quit on tolerating any kind of abuse to them or their children from their spouse, someone who promised to take care of them and love them forever. Although many people do tolerate physically abusive relationships just for the sake of being together but often people chose to move away from such kind of relationships. No matter in which form it appears or from whose end it is initiated yet this is one the most alarming cause of separation.
Often people try to find out similarities in a relationship for being compatible together yet according to me compatibility is about respecting the differences rather than finding the similarities. Every individual is distinct and different from others in many ways. We all have entirely distinct mindset, different priorities and own unique point of view and perception which may be weird to others. If we expect someone else to do or think according to us that would automatically create frequent conflicts and would be wrong too. Hence incompatibility proves to be a major reason for separation as people often misinterpret the concept of compatibility.
4. Financial Matters
Couple often end up arguing on fiscal terms like paying bills, sharing money, dealing with debts etc. Men tend to overlook fiscal matters as they are uncomfortable in discussing them. And when questioned on these they often dislike it. Socially tagged as providers, men take money matters more seriously than women as it is more a prestige issue for them. In a survey, published in the Forum for Family and Consumer Issues, finances proved to be the leading cause of conflict in marriage, with 39 percent of respondents listing it as their primary issue and 54 percent as their secondary issue. Also Couples who reported disagreeing about finances once a week were 30 percent more likely to get divorced than couples who reported disagreeing about them once a month, according to a Utah State University study.
“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” ― Alexander Pope. Are you blessed in your relationship? Certainly Not! We all get into marriage with different expectation and desires, some carve for romance, some seek a kink in sexual preferences other may tend to everything flowery. These dramatic or plain expectations are rarely fulfilled and this often creates stress and depression in the one who is expecting. The fairy tales like image we have been carving out since our childhood proves to be a big illusion and people often take up these as a matter of conflict. The frequent conflicts on these unmet expectations/desires are among the top three cause of divorce.
On position 2nd, Infidelity, rather cheating is among the leading cause for break ups, and divorce. Actually infidelity is nothing but failing on maintaining the decorum of marriage. Most of the people claim that they would never choose to be with someone who has cheated on them. Even if they choose to stay they cannot cope up with the feeling of being betrayed and often hit on their spouse with reprimands etc leading to tension. The one, who is cheated, finds it hard to rebuild the trust which is elementary building block in any relationship.
1. Communication Gap
The leading cause of divorce is not arguments or conflicts, actually it when you chose not to share your feelings with your spouse. In such cases couple often become too disinterested in discussing their problems due to the frequent conflicts that they chose to overlook them. This accumulates the grievances in both of them leasing to disastrous consequences. Thus number 1 reason for divorce proves to be communication gap.