We (both men and women) are sentimental and sensitive beings, no matter how much some try to show otherwise. But it’s a complete different world when it comes to dating. Being sensitive to a friend about her loss is a different thing but being overtly nice and buying your girlfriend a stack of false nails just because she chipped her nail is another issue altogether and not to mention it’s borderline creepy. All of us want healthy relationships without the stress of dealing with someone who isn’t self-confident enough to get a life outside the raining-roses setting of a relationship, and who is clingy and needy and latches unto you with the first nice thing you say about them. Now men (unlike women) work on complete different lines (they have got a bro code to follow, remember?) and in most cases it is the women that we find being overly friendly and needy, but that does not mean Men can’t cross the line to the creepy side of their personality. That’s the most important thing. Forget the convention of men can’t be clingy, because they surely can be, and more than often this is because there’s some emotional baggage that they have been carrying forward into their relationships or because their self-esteems waver at abnormal low levels. So here are top ten things that show your Boyfriend is desperate and it’s time to get priorities straight and talk about the unresolved issues or hang up for good. At least, this is when your warning signs must light up (in all possible shades of red) and you should question yourself about the kind of person you want to be with. And if you constantly find yourself amongst clingy guys, you should start questioning your own behavior as well, cause like attracts like, remember?
10. Has a profile listed with every possible online-dating site
Now, having a profile listed with an online dating site is a stereotypical sign of the guy being desperate in the conventions of our Indian society. But don’t judge him yet, not everyone is as outgoing and open as you. Although registering with more than two or maximum three online dating site might point to graver issues at hand and surely is a red flag that he probably hasn’t had much success in meeting girls and not having them bail out as soon he shows his colors of desperation.
9. Is a People Pleaser
Look out for this toxin sign of people pleasing. If he is going out of his way to keep terms with even the people who clearly put on an annoyed face the minute he opens his mouth it’s probably because he has got insecurity issues and needs people to like him.
8. Gets territorial and calls it possessiveness
This is sign for guys who constantly cling onto their girlfriends in presence of other guys and always have this combat-mode face on as if they are ready to fight on the first drink someone offers you. He’s obviously not secure with himself and this shows in his behavior. If this is something your boyfriend does ask him to go play with his G.I Joe figures because you most certainly don’t have the time to put up with this crazy nonsensical behavior.
7. Has been a serial dater
This is one of the important signs of a desperate boyfriend. So dig into his previous dating history and find out if he has constantly been with girls who don’t stick around and he is in and out of relationships because he fears being alone. On an average, people have 2-3 relationships in a year. Lookout for those comments from his friends about you sticking around longer than the previous ones, it’s nothing to be flushed at little lady, because if your boyfriend has been changing girlfriends, faster than Paris Hilton, either he’s a playboy or he’s just desperate for someone to cling and can’t stand being alone. In any case, it’s another red flag for trouble.
6. Is moving too fast to take the relationship to the next level
A relationship has to grow with time and take up its own pace at things. And the warning signs, they all start with moving too fast with things like intimacy and sex. There has to be a considerable time between I just met you and I love you, and it can be really creepy if just after few dates the guy is spilling “I love you”s with red roses across your windowsill. If things are moving too fast for your pace, you need to pay attention to them before they get out of control.
5. You find him always wanting to talk about his problems
This is when it should start becoming clear that you are dealing with someone who is needy, clingy and desperate for attention and you should start rethinking about your actions. He can’t take even the smallest decisions for himself and needs you to guide him through it. You find it borderline whining and feel like you just can’t deal with it without blowing out yourself and If you find yourself stuck to the phone for a considerable part of the day discussing problems that your boyfriend is having, and you realize you are starting to sound more like his therapist rather than his girlfriend, you probably should look at it as a warning sign.
4. Invites you to meet family too soon
This is the rule of thumb about dating. There is a considerable time gap after which you invite the other person to meet your family or close relatives. So, if you find him hovering over you to meet your family and relatives when it has just been six or eight months it’s a warning sign with all the neon bulbs shouting that he probably has a disconnection to his own family and is thus acting clingy and desperate to meet yours.
3. You are the center to his universe
If you find your life has been taken over by this alien species called your boyfriend it’s another sign to get those thinking caps on. It’s okay to be wanting to spend time with the person you like, but when I say taking over this is what I mean: He knows all your friends by their nicknames and attends all the events of your social circle, it’s almost as if your social circle has become his and his friends have vanished into oblivion. He is around so much that it has become almost annoying to answer him in anything else other than the monosyllabic “okay” and “fine”. He reads the same books as you, listens to the music as you and watches the same movies as you and is so hell bent in believing in doing things for the “greater good” of the relationship that he has forgotten his priorities and you have to constantly remind him of all the other important things that he needs to do in life. Beware; it’s all just the normal clingy and needy behavior of a desperate man.
2. The need of calling, emailing and texting way too much
We all like to have a sense of communication but some people go overboard by calling, emailing and texting a dozen times a day. If he gets put off and creates a scene about you not answering the phone within the first ten seconds of him calling or texting and reasons like work, family or the basic hygienic needs, do not pass as sound reason to not pick up his calls, are all red flags of trouble. It’s fine to call and check up on a person 2-3 times a day but calling every several minutes and asking the stereotypical questions like where are you and what are you doing can get plain annoying. So if this is what’s happening, and you find him spamming even your voicemail, it’s time to let him know that he should make drastic changes in his life or you’ll have to completely cut him off.
1. Constantly buys you gifts
Women by their natural beckoning like to be pampered with materialistic and meaningful things, both. But if every other day you find a basket full of goodies on your doorstep, you might start feeling like you are being bribed to stay in the relationship. Gifts are nice but when they lose their meaning, surprise and concept it’s a red flag. And yes, greeting cards are gifts too.