Dealing with a moment of temporary sadness or fleeting negative emotion is different from a much deeper, more intensive grief. It’s so easy to watch somebody grieving and shrug it off as being a moment of oversensitivity because we find it hard to relate. It isn’t until we are struck with a similar degree of sorrow that we are forced to confront our emotion and realize it is more difficult than just letting time do the trick.
How do you write somebody’s death off as being inevitable when they were a huge part of life, knowing they won’t be around to see you grow and thrive anymore? Your expectations of how the situation would pan out takes an ugly and unexpected twist when a curveball in the form of grief is thrown our way; our expectations of the situation and the real situation at hand just don’t line up.
Here, we will address the impact grief can have on the human mind and how it takes a physiological toll and how to keep your emotions at bay by carrying on with your life. Moving on and making peace with the situation is an integral step to dealing with grief but the preliminary stages require to be dealt with more sensitivity than later, when the trauma has escaped and we have achieved the level of strength and stability to deal.
Two quotes that inspire me to deal with situations of grief by turning a moment of sorrow into an optimistic experience I can grow from:
“It is better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all”- William Shakespeare
“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened”- Dr. Seuss
10) Distract yourself
The very initial stage to dealing with a traumatic incident is to not let yourself be alone to wallow in your thoughts. An idle mind paves way for a devil’s workshop. When you’re surrounded by negativity, it’s better to combat it by surrounding yourself with people that will take your mind off it. Better yet, catch a movie. Get outside the house. Make new friends. Go to the park and watch children play.
The best therapy is to simply make sure your mind does not wander to dark, unforeseen places. Long term effects of doing that could be depression, which is harder to get out of. Combat your grief at an earlier stage and see how much faster and effective it will be to recover.
9) Connect with your emotion
After a week of calming yourself down and giving yourself that rebooting time, allow yourself some time (but within moderation) to think about what happened. You will find that resiliency comes easier and more naturally to you in a stage when your thoughts have settled and your mind thinks more rationally.
How do you feel about what happened? A lot of people feel guilt adding to the grief, thinking they could have prevented the incident from occurring.Let the logic of things set in: Were you the best person you could be? Did you intend for something bad to happen? Did it happen on its own? There are somethings in life you can’t prevent from happening. The force of nature defies our wishes, and we must learn to adjust to that.
Speak with a therapist or a friend who will listen to you spill your heart out. Verbally communicating about it will give you an increased perspective and help you realize what happened was inevitable and unstoppable, although harshly unexpected.
8) Get yourself a job
If getting laid off your job is the source of your grief, don’t worry about it. Now is not the time to give up, it is the time to persevere and put yourself out there. Work on your skills, take an online course, take a physical class and discover what your abilities are.
Build yourself a strict regime to follow everyday and don’t give yourself too much idle time. A productive routine results in a productive individual. Often a job opportunity is accompanied with new friends, the feeling of starting a new life and a busy schedule that will help you clear your mind.
Find yourself. Give yourself some time off if you really need. Traverse the jungles of the Amazon, visit the pyramids in Egypt, fall in love with Paris, go surfing in Australia, go snowboarding in the Alps, connect with your soul through meditation in India.
Find yourself with a fresh mind and fresh soul when you will have returned. You will become a new person.
6) Spend time with your family
Your family, no matter how many rough patches or periods of silence you underwent with them, will remain your number #1 backbone and support system.
Grief teaches you to let go of insignificant grudges and embrace people that have loved you in your life: your family is one of them.
5) Surround yourself with comedy
Modern Family, Friends, How I Met your Mother, The Big Bang Theory, there isn’t a dearth of hilarious TV shows going on nowadays that you could download.
Laughter is said to relieve endorphins that help release pain and sadness. it’s healthy for the heart and people that laugh more live longer. Appreciate the fact that outside of your situation, there is a world out there that might undergo similar problems but emerges laughing. You should too.
4) Get a pet
An immediate antidote to any sort of a pain, a pet will love you unconditonally and will not question you in your moments of sadness. There will be no judgment when you’re at your worst, only love.
Taking care of a pet helps you develop a sense of responsibility and along with it, comes the promise of oodles of affection and laughter at your pet’s weird antics.
3) Spoil yourself
orget the expenses for a day-give yourself a spa treatment. A shopping spree. A binge day where you eat lots of chocolate and just promise to yourself that you will relax, and give your mind a break from all the thinking it’s been doing lately.
2) Learn that it is okay to heal at your own rate
Do not push away your thoughts completely-burying them could result in more anxiety and then spilling out at unprecedented times. It is okay to cry. It is okay to remember the good times.
You are human, you will feel and you need to channel your emotions in a positive way. Help out the less fortunate and volunteer regularly. Let grief shape you into becoming a better, more determined person.
1) Consider your life in retrospect
And cherish it. You are alive. You are privileged. Don’t let one incident take the life out of you. Remember the good times always as being a memorable, heartening experience but if you live in the past too much, you are essentially distancing yourself from the opportunity for resiliency. Remember things could be worse and count your blessings because waking up everyday in itself is one.
Optimism is key. You are loved. You are important. You have potential. You are your own person. Nobody can take that away from you. Live in the moment, love with no regrets and celebrate each day like it’s your last.