Marriage is that institution where willingly or unwillingly we all have to get in at certain points in our lives. And once we get in, it changes our lives forever, for the better of course! Marriage is that one thing which all of us should experience in our lives, because of the air of positive change it brings around. Well, after the first few years of happy married life, the problems start creeping ion one by one- slowly and silently. It is at that point since when it ceases to matter whether your marriage was arranged or it was love marriage. It is all about how successfully you and your partner keep your marriage alive. You don’t need huge commitments to make, it’s about the small, simple efforts you out in and how selflessly you love one another. Yes, it is as simple as that! While we all know marriage is not a theoretical concept and an article obviously cannot make your marriage successful, but I attempted to bring in 10 points that actually can work wonders if implemented properly.
10. It’s not about you and me- It’s WE
This simple thought and idea can be the biggest secret to your happily married life. Like I said earlier, marriage is about selflessness. It is those small compromises and sacrifices you make for your partner and do not cringe at it- it actually makes you happy. But that does not mean you are not allowed to think about yourself. Of course you are, selfishness is in human nature. The challenge comes in when you do something for yourself without hurting or posing any kind of problem for your partner. And if you do, if your partner gets hurt for any action of yours, you know what you have to do to make up for the loss!
9. Invest Time
No relation on the face of this world can survive without sufficient amount of tie from the two people. Same goes for marriage as well. Give time to your partner. Giving time does not mean you take her shopping, or you go together on a holiday. No! Give time to each other through small activities, small gestures. Like at the end of the day sit with each other, talk, discuss how your respective days were, or when your chores are done go and wait near your partner’s workplace when it’s time to call a day and you guys can return home together. You guys can go to the weekly market together, at times cook a meal together when you both are at home. When you do all these things together, it’s no longer ‘giving’ time to each other. It becomes an investment!
8. It’s Never too Late for Another Honeymoon
Remember that time when you just got married and were on your honeymoon? You were on cloud nine and everything seemed so beautiful. You wouldn’t let go of your partner’s sight even for a few seconds. Nostalgic? Why not revive all that again? That state of mind, more than the destination. Go somewhere, anywhere, even if it is a weekend getaway. But make sure it’s only the two of you- no friends, no family, no kids. Book a luxury hotel, take the honeymoon suite and did all that you guys did together on your honeymoon. That feeling is priceless!
7. Pen is Mightier than the Sword
This actually is the ideal concept for a perfect marriage. Fighting and arguing over anything is not an option. It just makes things worse for both the partners. I would say even sitting and talking and discussing is not a way out. Because no matter how calmly you guys start talking, it always reaches a point where it takes the form of an argument. So, write letters to each other. Take your time; write down everything that’s going on in your mind, that is bothering you, that how much you love your partner, how badly you long to be with him or her, how this fight I skilling you- write it all. Those few kind words and words of love make all the difference guys.
6. Family Comes First
When you get married to somebody, you are not just accepting him or her, you are accepting each other’s family as well. The amount of love and respect that you have for each other, it should be there for each other’s families as well. Never ever disrespect the families, your elders. When you see your partner being so caring towards your family, that automatically instigates further love and respect for him or her.
5. Dream Deeper, Not Bigger
This is another important point all you married people have to keep in mind. We all as individuals have our respective dreams in life. When we get married to someone, we share those dreams. His dreams and her dreams together make the most perfect list. But there are few dreams that come up after marriage. From that point, it becomes all about love and being together. Dream, there is no stopping to it, but dream deeper, not bigger. Dream of a house, not the size and luxury of it, but what will be going on inside that house. Dream of the kitchen, dream of the décor, dream of how your room will be. The deeper the dream, the deeper your marriage is.
4. No Space for Ego
This holds true for every kind of relationship we get into. Ego does not boost up your self esteem or morale, it just spoils things to an irreparable extent. And in marriage, ego spells disaster. There might be times when your partner will be more successful than you in the work front, there might be times your partner will forget your birthday and your anniversary, there might be times when your partner won’t be able to give much time to you because of any unavoidable circumstance. So what? They are humans too. Marriage is all about understanding and that unseen bond where you guys communicate without words, right?
3. Happy wife = Happy Married Life
Gosh! This is so true. When your wife is happy, everything else seems to be happy. And she is your wife guys, no one will know better than you how to make your wife happy. Do the small things, the big things, give her time, listen to her, please try not to forget her birthday, be nice to her family, take her out, surprise her- do all it takes to keep her happy. She is the pillar that holds your household straight. And girls, if you are reading this, show this to your husband or even your boyfriend.
This probably is the most useful tip to make a marriage last. Whether you had an arranged marriage or a love marriage, try to be friends with your husband or wife. Be best friends, rather. Share every other detail with your partner, make him or her feel important, hang out often like friends, celebrate friendship days, discuss matters together before arriving at a decision, tease each other for the series of failed relationships you both had earlier. I myself fell in love with my best friend, no wait, bestestest friend. And there can be nothing better than this!
1. Perfection is a Myth
And finally, we come to that point that can solve any marriage related problem. Perfection is just a theoretical concept. It has no existence in the real world. You have to understand that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage, a perfect husband or a perfect wife. Concentrate more on being the right, not the perfect! When you let go of the perfection concept as a whole, that’s when your marriage can survive any negative element, come what may!